


Given

by Twisted_Mirror



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Affection, Angry Sex, Angst, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Attempted Sexual Assault, Bondage, Consensual, Consensual Sex, Decapitation, Declarations Of Love, Enemies to Lovers, Erotica, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Falling In Love, Feral Behavior, Forbidden, Forbidden Love, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sex (Star Wars), Force-Sensitive Leia Organa, Healing, Healing Sex, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Angst, Kylo Ren and Rey Are Not Related, Leia Organa Ships It, Light Bondage, Light Dom/sub, Loss of Virginity, Love, Menstruation, Mentioned Han Solo, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, Pining, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Pregnancy, Romance, Secret Relationship, Seduction to the Dark Side, Sex, Soft Ben Solo, Tender Sex, Tenderness, The Force, Top Kylo Ren, True Love, Unplanned Pregnancy, Violence, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Kylo Ren, Virgin Rey (Star Wars)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-05-10
Packaged: 2021-02-25 21:14:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21981973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Mirror/pseuds/Twisted_Mirror
Summary: After his initial interrogation of Rey the scavenger, Kylo Ren Master of the Knights of Ren finds he cannot keep away from her and senses that they are connected in a way neither of them is prepared for. Rey held captive finds that Kylo Ren has awoken feelings in her that confuse and intrigue her, but they are enemies, aren't they?
Relationships: Kylo Ren & Rey, Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 220
Kudos: 575
Collections: Reylo, Reylo Sin Anthology: The Virgin Edition, Star Wars, Star Wars Kink Meme, The Reylo's Coming Home Project, You Need a Teacher-- A Reylo Collection (Kylo Ren/Rey), reylo trash





	1. Bare

Rey sighed as she leaned back on the restraining table shifting uncomfortably against the restraints on her ankles and wrists. She was tired, hungry and cold. The interrogation from Kylo Ren had somehow worn her out and invigorated her. He had been inside her mind and seen everything about her, down to her deepest darkest fears. What neither of them had expected however was that she had seen him also, all of him down to his core. She had felt his panic as she had entered him but also intrigue and admiration. This was not going the way she had thought that it would.

  
A trooper stood guarding her and though she could not see them she could sense them behind her. She felt as though since that moment with Kylo something within her had awoken, her senses had heightened in every way. She felt a connection to something bigger than herself. Had this been what Maz had been trying to tell her about the force? Her muscles stiffened and her senses jumped as she heard the door open and heavy boots enter the room. It was him; she knew it.

  
"Leave us," he commanded the trooper in his distorted voice.

  
The door shut again with a hiss. Her breathing quickened as he walked around the upright table to face her, his mask was back on and he was carrying a tray.

  
"Oh look, the creature is back," she sniped, looking away.

  
He said nothing but paused for a moment before placing the tray down on the table. He reached over his head and pulled the mask off letting his black hair fall free.

  
"I thought you might be hungry," he said quietly, not rising to the bait.

  
"Well I'm not," she snapped back.

  
He smirked softly to himself as her stomach growled in protest.

  
"It seems that your body has other ideas."

  
Rey huffed in anger but knew that he was right; she would need to keep her energy levels up if the opportunity to escape arose.

  
He held out a metal bottle of water in offering. She nodded so he bought the bottle to her lips letting her drink. She had been thirstier than she had thought and drank at least half of it, the cool water quenching her thirst. He watched her as she drank, his dark eyes studying her face. The air between them seemed to tighten and heat; a trickle of water ran down her chin. She felt her cheeks redden under his gaze as his eyes followed the droplet of water on its path downwards. He put the bottle on the table and removing one of his gloves he slowly, gently wiped the water from her lips and chin. She held her breath at his touch as a feeling of warmth flooded through her, he must have felt it too for he gasped. His gasp was slight but she noticed. She cast her eyes down to avoid his gaze.

  
He still did not speak but carefully loosened the restraints to make her more comfortable. She watched him carefully but he avoided her look, merely focusing on what he was doing or rather trying to give that impression. Inside however every fibre of his being felt her watch him. He slowly picked up a steaming bowl and spoon and approached her again.

  
"What is it?" she asked frowning.

"Soup."

  
It did smell good and her stomach responded yet again. He stood closely next to her and spooned some of the liquid ready. He held it up to her and she reluctantly took it into her mouth. Again she was surprised by how gentle he was. The soup was warm and tasted and felt good; he patiently fed her all of it. When she had finished he put the bowl back on the table and carefully wiped her mouth with a cloth. Neither of them could look away, it was as though their eyes were locked together. Rey felt it inside of her, something drawing her to him and him to her and she was shocked to find that it neither repulsed nor scared her.

  
"You feel it don't you?"

  
He spoke for the first time in what seemed like ages, his voice deep and soft, seductive and silky.

  
"I don't know what you mean," she looked away in defiance.

  
He stood closer to her as her breathing quickened despite herself.

  
"Look at me," it was not an order, it was a plea. "Please."

  
Yes that is what it was, a plea. She lifted her eyes to meet his, his eyes that were so deep and soulful as though they contained every star in the galaxy. Though there was a gap between them she already felt as though she were connected to him. It made her skin feel as though it were on fire. She needed to release this feeling inside of her but she did not know why or how.

  
"I know what you mean," he whispered.

  
"Get out of my head," she spat with only half the conviction she was trying to convey.

  
He put one hand on the restraining table and leaned slightly closer to her, his eyes ever searching.

  
"I'm not in your head,” he spoke softly as though trying to steady him as well as her. ”You are pushing your feelings out to me whether you know it or not. It's as though you are trying to tell me something."

  
She held his gaze and felt her breath becoming ragged and could not help but look down at his full soft lips. His eyes never left her face.

  
"You know that I can't let you go don’t you?" he almost sounded apologetic.

  
She nodded as his face got ever so slightly closer to hers; he smelt of soap, leather and his own spicy musk. A warmth and fire rushed through to the apex at her thighs and she breathed out in response, causing his eyes to flicker. She was completely inexperienced aside from her own fumblings in the dark all alone on Jakku but she knew what her body was responding to and what it wanted. No, what she wanted.

  
"Rey?"

  
He was still looking intently at her, begging her to say something. She could not understand why but the look he gave her emboldened her.

  
"You want me?" she asked, her voice husky with desire.

  
He was almost taken aback at her bold words but he could see the vulnerability in her eyes despite the showy bravado on her face. The barriers between them were falling down, both were bare to each other and it felt raw and powerful. He nodded slowly.

  
"I'm sorry," he instantly began to back away following his confession.

  
Rey instantly felt panicked and empty.

  
"No, don't!" she cried.

  
He looked up surprised and questioningly.

  
"I want it."

  
"Wh...what?" he looked so unsure so young.

  
"I want...you," she whispered, shocked at her own heated admission.

  
For a moment he did not move, did not speak. The pause was painful to Rey as she strained against the shackles.

  
He took a step toward her and removed his other glove, the desire burning for skin upon skin. He held her face as she leant into his hand, warm and soft. His thumb ran over her lips, soft and moist, calling to him as one arm snaked around her head.

  
"Are you sure?" he asked carefully.

  
She just nodded firmly. He undid her right arm restraint and bought his hand back to her face as she instantly lifted her arm and pushed her fingers through his hair. It was thick and silky and spilled through her fingers. He was still hesitating, scared that she would change her mind and choose to withdraw at any moment, but she pushed her face forward closing the gap and kissed him firmly on the lips. As soon as their lips touched it felt as though everything else in the galaxy had disappeared. Only they were left and only they mattered. Kylo responded immediately and deepened the kiss, his tongue beginning to probe her compliant mouth. Initially teeth and noses bumped together awkwardly until they found a rhythm. She gripped his hair in response, causing him to groan. It had been so long since either of them had felt the touch of another person. Both felt it deep down in their core knowing full well that there was no going back from this.

  
They paused for a deep breath as both of them were panting but quickly found that they felt an ache at breaking apart.

  
"Kylo," Rey whispered, leaning forward her mouth slightly parted for him causing him to stiffen.

  
"Wait,” he muttered as he unfastened and shrugged off his long black coat, letting it fall to the floor. He wore a simple black sweater underneath over his black leather trousers; a sweater that Rey could see sheathed a sculpted body. He wrapped his one hand around her small waist and cradled her head with the other, kissing her again tenderly as her mouth opened willingly for him. He pressed his forehead against hers.  
His moist lips travelled from her mouth to her neck, making her gasp as he sucked the smooth tanned skin there. Both could feel the passion and heat begin to unravel between them like a forest caught ablaze. His mouth went lower still and kissed her along her collar bone causing her to squirm beneath him. He paused and bought his face level to hers.

  
"Should I stop?"

  
She shook her head and pulled his mouth back to hers as though she were feeding off him. The nerve endings between her legs were on fire, she felt wet and warm there. Feeling something hard pressed against her thigh she reached down with her free hand; Ben gasped into her mouth and their kissing became more furious. He quickly undid the ankle restraints, freeing her trembling legs and pressed himself between her thighs. He gently but firmly pulled her top down so that her breasts and shoulders were exposed, and for a moment he just looked at her, drinking her in. His gaze that was heavy and wanting made her feel dizzy with desire. She strained against the last arm restraint. He ran his hand from her throat down to her right breast cupping it in his hand and using his thumb he rubbed circles over her erect nipple. Seeing the effect that had on her he leant down and took her nipple in his mouth and sucked on it hard making her give a strangled cry and pull on his hair.

"Please," she pleaded.

  
He could not deny her now, not when she was giving him everything. He undid the last restraint and she instantly began pulling his shirt up over his head as she stepped down from the table. They fumbled clumsy as they both were causing it to get stuck. It did not take long for him to takeover and removed it throwing it on the floor. Now it was her turn to drink him in; he was broad, tall and muscular, his pale chest looking as though it had been carved from marble. She ran her hands over his chest feeling the soft smooth skin, the way he shivered at her touch.

  
He pulled her to him so that her breasts pressed against his chest, both marvelling at how right it felt. He sank to his knees in front of her holding her waist, steadying her as he knelt before her. She looked down upon him and touched his face tenderly nodding approvingly to his unspoken question. He undid her cropped trousers and pulled them down slowly until they were around her feet. She stepped out of them and removed the rest of her upper garments. The rational part of her brain told her that this was crazy and that she needed to stop but the rest of her did not care. Today may be her last, so caution be damned. She needed this more than she needed air to breathe or food to eat.  
His breathing had become ragged too as he looked at her bare, naked body. She had exposed herself completely, wholly to him and he wanted to worship her in every way possible. He looked up at her, almost shy, nearly all of his layers stripped back.

"I've never..." he began, embarrassed.

"Me neither," she reassured him.

  
He took her hand and kissed it, reaching out in the force for her. She felt him and let him in. Their minds joined and he knew what she wanted him to do before she knew herself. He pressed his face forward, grasping her by her toned buttocks and took the very core of her into his mouth. She cried out in ecstasy and surprise as he used his tongue to suck and lick at her, his full lips covering her. She had not known that anything could feel like this, this good. Tears fell quietly on to her hot cheeks. Not really knowing what he was doing he used her emotions and cries to guide him and felt himself grow harder than he thought possible as she bucked and writhed beneath his mouth. Her cries and whimpers grew louder, the grip on his hair tightened. Her legs began to buckle so he released her and let her sink into his arms and onto his lap where she could feel his arousal beneath her. She fell against his chest breathing heavily.

  
"Take me, please."

He kissed her deeply. She could taste herself and him on his lips, sweet and musky. She ground her hips against him, eliciting a deep growl in his throat.  
He gently laid her on her back upon his black coat so that she wouldn't touch the cold floor before he released her legs from around him. He lay over her, kissing her neck and breasts and reaching one hand down between her legs he parted them gently.

  
"Please, Kylo, please!" she bucked against his hand, crying with a need she did not understand.

  
“ I don't want to hurt you," the restraint made his voice stuttered and husky.

  
He eased two fingers into her and moaned at the silky wetness he found there. She cried out as he strummed her inside pulling and stretching her, pushing his fingers inside and out and circling them on the outside where her pleasure centred. She felt as though she were coming apart from the inside, everything alive and open. It felt so good it was almost painful as she reached out for the release she needed. He kissed her again and used his fingers to match her writhing. She was almost there he could feel it.

  
"Let go Rey, just let go," he whispered.

  
She bucked one more time clinging on to his shoulders scratching his skin with her nails as she cried out with her head arched back. She shuddered all over and pushed herself on to his hand before collapsing, lying limp in his arms with her eyes closed and her breathing heavy. He looked at her almost disbelievingly as she lay next to him. How had they gotten here?

  
"I need you," Rey whimpered, her eyes now open.

  
He bent his head down and kissed her again, full of heat and longing. He felt her begin to fumble at the fastening of his trousers with shaky fingers. He helped her and undid them, freeing himself. Rey could not help but look at him her eyes widening at the size of him, he felt himself blush under her gaze. She had never really seen a naked male human before and the wonderment showed upon her face. For a moment he faltered, and she could sense it as well as his embarrassment so she put her hand gently on his face drawing him into her gaze.

  
"Don't be embarrassed," she whispered softly. "You're beautiful."

  
His mouth opened slightly in surprise at her statement and for a moment they paused.

  
"Rey."

  
In response she opened her legs wider for him and let him settle between them. She could feel the long hard length of him against her belly nestled, against her skin. Both of their hearts were racing and Ben knew he could not hold on much longer. Rey was shocked when she saw Ben's eyes begin to glisten. She ran her right hand down the smooth contours of his chest and to down to his abdomen, making him shiver. She wanted to touch him as he had her, feel him, hold him.

Tentatively she ran her fingers along his length causing him to moan deeply and gasp and found she was surprised at the velvety warmth. She curled her fingers around him. His breathing became strangled.

  
"What should I do?" she asked nervously.

  
Their eyes locked for a moment; a moment more intimate than either had experienced before. He replaced her hand with his and showed her what to do until she placed her hand back upon him for him to guide her. She felt powerful, powerful that she could make him gasp like that, cry like that and this feeling urged her on until he knew he could not hold back any longer.

  
"Guide me," he choked.

  
She gently drew him closer to her entrance. Both fumbled again as both a little unsure. He pressed forward and entered her not going too far for fear of hurting her. He felt her whole body tense as she gripped on to his shoulders for anchorage. He lost all control and pushed all the way in causing her to cry out in pain. He stopped and put his forehead down upon hers giving her time to get used to the feeling. He cradled her face in his hand.

"Are you okay?"

  
She nodded as she felt herself give way to take him, all of him. He waited for her to adjust, the restraint causing him to sweat.  
He pulled out of her and pushed in again, slowly; she cried out again and held on to him. He did it again, barely holding on. She shifted beneath him and wrapped her legs around him so he could take more of her. He slowed his breathing down before taking her and began to pick up the pace thrusting in and out. The pain she had initially felt began to turn into something else, turning her cries of pain into cries of pleasure and abandon. Everything in him drove him forward as though he could become a part of her. He was her and she was him.

  
Rey could feel his thoughts and feelings and for a moment she was shocked at how peaceful they felt while their bodies burned and clashed. It felt...it felt like belonging. The sound of their warm flesh smacking together echoed in the cold silent and sterile room. Ben could not last for long. His thrusts became more hurried until he plunged in one last time, filling all of her and crying out. His whole body shuddered at the immense release he felt. Rey cried out with him as he released himself into her and she watched his face with fascination as it contorted with ecstasy and vulnerability all at once.  
He held himself over her for a moment, his eyes slowly opening to look down at her flushed face. Both were breathing heavily and clinging on to each other, scared to let go, him still filling her. A bead of sweat ran from his face and dropped on to her chest before trickling down between her breasts. Ben's exhaustion took over and he collapsed down next to her, careful not to crush her under his weight. He lay alongside of her with his head nestled under her neck.

  
"Did I hurt you?" he whispered.

  
His voice was raw, naked.

  
“Only at first,” she said quietly.

  
His hand held her across her belly, almost spanning its whole width, his warmth radiating through her. He leant his head up and kissed her neck, her jaw and worked his way back to her mouth, kissing her again softly, tenderly. Though neither said it they knew they were bound up in each other for good or ill, their bodies now branded by each other, forever. His heart ached, for he wanted her, wanted her in every way possible and wanted to show her what she could be. He had felt her untapped power and its possibilities.

  
Rey began to feel cold as reality began to creep back in like a dark shadow. What was she thinking? What had they done? This now felt like madness. He could feel the subtle shift in her energy, the small crack form in his soul.

  
"We should get dressed," his voice was full of reluctance though he tried to sound matter of fact.

  
Rey nodded and rolled away from him sitting up as she clutched her arms around herself for cover. He sensed her unease and wrapped his coat around her before passing her a cloth to clean herself. He got back into his clothes and turned to see she was already half dressed again. He helped her with her shirt and bindings and soon they were both full dressed once more, the Scavenger and the Dark Prince.  
Rey knew that she should hate him, be repulsed by him, but how could she after what they had just shared? How could she hate him after what they had just given to each other? He held her gently by the shoulders and kissed her forehead before he tensed all over once more.

"I have to put you back in the restraints now."

  
"I know."

  
She let him, he had no choice and neither did she. As he tightened the restraints back up his gloved fingers brushed against her bare calves and she could not help a thrill wash over her. All of her nerve endings felt alive. She still throbbed between her legs for him. He stood again, pausing in front of her as he took his mask back into his hands as though deliberating. He kissed her once more fiercely on the lips and she did not deny him. When his eyes reopened Kylo Ren was once more in command and Rey felt a glimmer of loss inside her.

  
"What are you going to do with me?" her voice sounded small and lost now.

  
He ignored the feelings that her voice raised in him, pushing them back down behind a cold veneer and calling out to the dark side to help him.

  
"That will be for the Supreme Leader to decide," he stated before putting his mask back on and marching from the room.  
Rey fell back against the table and let the bitter tears fall.


	2. Torn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo Ren try to come to terms with their passionate connection and the events at Starkiller Base.

Kylo left the interrogation room as swiftly as he could. He had to get away from her presence, it was intoxicating. His mind and emotions were in turmoil over what they had just done.

  
“By the grace of your training I will not be seduced.”

  
His own words to Snoke echoed back at him in his head. Merely hours had passed between him uttering that statement and his giving of himself literally to the girl. How could he have let this happen?  
It had been the most beautiful moment in his entire life yet now he felt empty, empty and lonelier than he had ever before. He paced his quarters, mask in hand as he replayed the moment over and over in his mind. His desire for her filled him once more. He needed to control this, quench this feeling somehow. Snoke must never know what had happened, for he would punish him in every way he knew how. He could not be that vulnerable again. The thought that scared him the most was that Snoke would also punish her, hurt her.  
Sighing with weary resignation he put the mask back on, he had to go back to her. He needed that map, he could not let Snoke down; he would not let him see this weakness. He marched down the corridors on Starkiller Base, troopers jumping out of his way, recognising his mood. As he approached the interrogation room he was surprised to see that the trooper who should have been guarding Rey had gone. He instantly felt angry that the trooper had shirked his duties when it hit him, he could no longer feel her presence

.  
“No, no, no,” he whispered, entering the room.

  
She was gone, the room was deafeningly silent.

  
“No!” he cried in anger and frustration.

  
He responded in the only way he knew how; he screamed in rage and attacked the interrogation table with his now ignited sabre. He hit the table over and over; his rage rising as sparks flew, filling the room. Anger was his only companion.

—

When Kylo had left Rey in the interrogation cell she had felt empty. She could not explain why but his absence made her feel cold. It was only after her tears had stopped that she became aware of a feeling within her, deep inside of her. She felt a connection to energy, an energy that she did not fully understand but it was there on the periphery of her conscious. She tried to relax, tried to listen to it. It felt like it was trying to guide her. Half on instinct, half on the energy’s guidance she spoke to the trooper guiding her.

  
“You will remove these restraints and you will leave this cell with the door open.”

  
Her voice was shaky and unsure.

  
“What did you say?”

  
The trooper sounded incredulous.

“You will remove these restraints and you will leave this cell with the door open.”

  
She repeated herself, trying to sound sure, more confident, but her breathing quickened as the trooper came to her side.

  
“I’ll tighten those restraints scavenger scum.”

  
He sounded angry and disgusted at her, but she would not give up. She trusted the feeling that she had and took a moment to just breathe. She regained her calm and composure.

  
“You will remove these restraints and you will leave this cell with the door open.”

  
Something was different this time; the trooper straightened up and repeated what she had said. With that he undid all of her restraints as she watched in almost disbelief that it had worked. As he began to leave the room she tried one more thing.

  
“And you’ll drop your weapon!”

  
Again he repeated her and she heard the blaster drop to the floor with a clatter. For a moment Rey was stunned. Since her connection with Kylo something had changed within her, the energy she had felt earlier felt like an extension of herself. She had just tapped into another part of her and the possibilities frightened her.  
As Rey had crept around the base trying to escape, her main plan had been to try and find a ship. She had been beyond shocked when she had run into Finn, Han and Chewie. The thought that someone had come for her touched her deeply and warmed her heart. Finn however, despite not knowing her for long, had seemed to sense that something had unsettled her. He looked at her concerned and worried. She shrugged it off and hugged him trying not to think about how much of a traitor she was after what she had done.

  
—

  
Kylo Ren was in a fitful sleep on board his Star Destroyer, the Finalizer. After his injuries following his battle with Rey in the snow, he had been vaguely aware of being found by his men, after he had passed out. Drifting in and out of consciousness he remembered being hurried on to a ship as the planet crumbled around them. All he could see was her face, full of hate, hate directed at him. She had bested him in that fight, his injuries from Chewbacca had begun to slow him down, and he had not wanted to kill her. She on the other hand had nearly ended his life there and then. He would never know if it was the ground disintegrating beneath them or her changing her own mind that had stopped her. He had tried to get her to come back with him in one desperate attempt. Tried to lure her with the offer of teaching her to use her powers, but she had just rejected him.

  
“You’re a monster!”

  
Her words echoed in his head as did her screams when he had killed Han Solo; his father. He woke with a start and instantly felt nauseated at the memory of what he had done; a pain tore his heart like it were made of cloth. The face his father had made as he had driven his blade through him, the touch of his father’s hand upon his face.  
As he had faced his father upon the bridge it had become increasingly clear that Ben Solo still lived within him. His response to Rey and ensuing entanglement with her had reached a part of him he had thought was buried forever. He was weak and foolish. He had let the light call to him, pull him in for a pair of pretty eyes and a heated moment of passion; the touch of another human. When his heart had swelled with love for his father, he had almost panicked, had almost left with him. He had been so close to leaving with him, so close. Then that voice in his head that echoed out from the darkness whispered to him, it was always whispering to him. It told him that his pain, his agony would be over if he killed his father. In that moment he had been so sure of what he had to do. By killing his father, he would finally kill Ben Solo once and for all, the pain would end. So why did he feel as though he had torn his heart, no his very soul in two? The light screamed at him all the louder for what he had done. Tended only by droids and machines in a cold clinical room he broke down into sob, sobs that echoed across the room.

  
—

  
After arriving at the Resistance Base on D’Qar, Rey had fell into a heavy exhausted sleep. She had been shown by a Lieutenant Connix to a dorm room where she had unceremoniously crashed into a heap. The events of the past twenty four hours preyed on her mind, she kept playing them over and over again. She was still sore from her time with Kylo Ren, she still ached with need for him despite herself. She disgusted herself. How could she feel like that when he had ruthlessly killed Han in front of them? The resistance would not have been so welcoming of her if they had known what she had done.

  
Her sleep was deep but restless as images ran through her head, through her dreams. The fight in the snow as their lightsabres clashed and trees felled around her. She had been angry, raging. Anger at how he had killed his father, rage at what he had done to Finn. Inside though she knew that she were angry at herself, for letting him in. She had scared herself as that feeling had swamped over her for she had almost killed him. She felt chilled as she remembered that dark voice telling her to do it, to end him. She could not honestly say that she would not have done it had not the Base exploded. The she would have been just like him, a monster.  
Her dreams were heated and fevered as the echoes of his touch danced across her body. Kylo’s fingers as they stroked her, delved into her; his lips as they burnt themselves into her skin, like a brand of desire. It was as though she were there with him now, feeling it all over again. She remembered the face he had made as he looked at her naked form before him, worshipping her. She had never felt so alive, so powerful and wanted. At the memory of his head bobbing gently between her legs as she gripped his hair, her hand instinctively reached down between her legs in her sleep. She rubbed herself to the memory of his tongue working on her, giving her everything. She remembered how he had looked as he had first entered her, a look of wonderment, peace and pain all at the same time. Her touches became more frantic and needy as she saw his face again, the moment he had spilled himself into her, the moment he cried out. She quivered and cried out waking herself up completely. She felt flushed and confused before realising where she was. Looking around embarrassed in case someone had seen or heard her she was relieved to find that she was on her own. She lay back on her pillow breathing slowly, centring herself once more.She was wet between her thighs, wet with desire, wet with need, need for him, the monster. She could not believe that she had let him do those things to her, that she still desired him. What did that say about her? Yet when she had been with him he had not seemed like a monster; he had been a tender and passionate boy, lost and in pain. 

  
Stretching on the bed she felt achy and dirty so decided to go hit the fresher. She noticed that someone had thoughtfully left her some clean clothes on the bed next to her, pants and a shirt. Grabbing them she hit the fresher in the next room letting the warm steaming water cleanse and soothe her aching muscles. The luxury of having access to so much water felt amazing, back on Jakku a shower was unheard of. Once she had gotten dressed into slightly baggy but comfortable clothes she decided she had better find the General, there was much to discuss. Leaving the fresher room she bumped into the General herself. Rey felt nervous instantly though she did not entirely know why.

  
“Rey, there you are.”

  
The older woman’s face was warm and friendly but Rey could see the shadow of her recent grief.

  
“General.”

  
“I hope that you slept well, you must have been exhausted.”

  
Leia’s eyes searched hers and for a moment Rey was taken aback at the echo of Kylo Ren she saw there, her dark eyes reflecting her son’s. Her breath caught.

  
“Rey?”

  
“Sorry, I’m a little overwhelmed still.”

  
Leia approached her and put her arm comfortingly through Rey’s.

  
“I need to take you to the medical bay, and then we’ll get you some food.”

  
Rey pulled back slightly.

  
“Honestly, there’s no need, I’m fine.”

  
“It’s just a precaution Rey.”

  
Rey acquiesced and followed the General meekly.

  
The medical bay was at the centre of the base and was relatively quiet while the Resistance partied in the mess hall. It was warm and light and smelt of disinfectant and clean linen. Dr Civa a tall human woman in her late forties welcomed them. She gestured for Rey to sit upon the table and begun to check her vitals with a scanner.

  
“Did they hurt you physically?” she asked, running the sensor over Rey.

  
She had noticed the bruising on Rey’s arms and wondered how far the First Order had tortured her. The Doctor’s voice was warm and gentle, concern etched upon her face as Leia stood nearby. Rey shook her head and kept her eyes down.

  
“I got into a fight as we escaped,” Rey explained. “With Kylo Ren.”

  
She heard Leia’s breath take a sharp intake but could not bring herself to look at her. The Doctor just nodded as she carried on with her checks.

  
“Well your adrenaline levels are a little high and you’re a little dehydrated. That’s normal under the circumstances. Just make sure you rest and drink plenty.”

  
Leia looked relieved. The Doctor was expecting Rey to hop off the table and leave but sensed her hesitation.

  
“Rey?”

Rey looked embarrassed, her face blushed.

  
“Can I speak with you in private Doctor?”

  
The Doctor and Leia glanced at each other worried; Leia nodded.

  
“I’ll just be outside Rey.”

  
Rey nodded relieved that Leia was leaving, Leia could not know about this.

  
As the door closed behind the General the Doctor waited patiently for Rey to talk, sensing the girl’s discomfort.

  
“I need...I mean is there...?”

  
Rey did not seem to know what to ask for. She had never had a mother or friend to guide her with such matters so now she felt lost. The Doctor did not push her.

  
“I’m scared; I’m scared I could get pregnant.”

  
The Doctor’s eyebrows rose slightly more in concern than shock.

  
“Rey what happened? Did anyone force themselves on you?”

  
Rey shook her head, still keeping her eyes down.

  
“No, nothing like that.”

  
Rey felt like she had no choice but to lie.

  
“It happened before Starkiller Base.”

  
The Doctor nodded, relieved that the girl had not been raped. She could tell that the girl was hiding something from her though. She suspected that it was the young man she had come to the base with, the ex stormtrooper, the one who lay in a coma, poor kids.

  
“Was it just once?”

  
Rey nodded, her cheeks burning at the memory.

  
“Have you experienced any pain since?”

  
“No, just a little sore.”

  
The Doctor patted her arm reassuringly.

  
“That’s normal, it will pass.”

  
The Doctor began looking through her cupboards and drawers before pulling out a syringe and medication.

  
“I can give you an injection, it will stop you conceiving. Okay?”

  
Rey nodded, visible relief showing across her face.  
The needle left a small scratch on her arm that the Doctor covered with a band.

  
“Now Rey, this is important. That injection will only cover you for that incident. Are you planning for it to happen again?”

  
Rey shook her head.

  
“No, no I’m not.”

  
“Ok, well it’s important that if anything changes you let me know and I’ll give you something more long term okay?”

  
“Thank you Doctor.”

  
Rey slid down from the table, rubbing her arm where the injection had been given before leaving the room.  
Leia did not pry but Rey knew that she was worried. Rey felt the guilt press down upon her so when Leia asked her to go to Luke she could not refuse. Part of her hoped that that Luke would have answers for her if he were as wise as she’d heard; answers about the power within her. They could just never know about what she had done.


	3. Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kylo and Rey realise that they are connected in a way neither had foreseen.

Kylo sat in the chair in the medical bay as a medical droid tended to the wound on his face. It knitted at the sutures of his scar, the sound of the thin metal needles being the only sound in the room. Rey had marked him body and soul, the scar inside the droid could do nothing about; that was the scar that hurt him the most. His thoughts drifted to her as the droid bound his wounded flesh back together. He thought of her eyes as they had glared at him in anger, her eyes as they had closed in ecstasy and pain. He could not regret what they had done, would not regret what they had done.  
The room hummed quietly with the machinery and his breathing. Something however shifted; it felt as though all of the air and sound had been sucked from the room. He felt as though he were in some strange vacuum devoid of everything except the force, and her. He was stunned to find that he could see he, she was there in the room, curled up asleep. He held his breath, not believing what he was seeing. Was this a vision? Was it a dream? He reached out gently with his mind, with his feelings and found that he could sense her. Somehow, she was there with him.

  
She begun to stir and sleepily stretched, her toned body straining against her clothes. She sat up sleepily, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. For a moment she just looked around still not fully awake, and for a split second he enjoyed the view of her, at peace. Then she sensed him and that peace went, her eyes landed on him. She blinked, like him she was trying to process what was happening. Without hesitation her face changed to one of terror and fury; she fumbled for her blaster, aimed and shot at him straight away. He jumped in response, looking down half expecting to see a hole in his abdomen. He stood, pushing the medical droid away from him as he looked around him, trying to work out what was happening. He could not see her but she was still there, he could feel her. He ran out into the sleek black corridor, skidding across the polished floor. His heart was racing.

  
—

  
Rey leapt from the simple bed in her small stone hut, her temper was flared. She ran outside, heart thudding within her chest; part of her still thought she could have been dreaming. It would not be the first time she had dreamt of him. She knew though that this was different, she could sense him, and he was somehow there with her. She ran outside, frantically looking around. He was there in front of her, as real as anything else surrounding her. He turned, sensing her near him so turned to face her. His look was one of amazement and curiosity.

  
Knowing that he should at least try to use this to his advantage, he reached out to her with his mind, hand raised.

  
“You will bring Luke Skywalker to me.”

  
Nothing, he hit a wall of defiance and almost amusement. He sheepishly dropped his hand as her eyes burned into him. He felt the thrill she experienced at resisting him once again.

  
“You’re not doing this, the effort would kill you,” he was half talking to her, half thinking aloud. “Can you see my surroundings?”

  
“You’re going to pay for what you did!” she snapped, nostrils flared.

  
“I can’t see yours, just you.”

  
The softness in his voice, the tone he used and the way he looked at her with those dark, soulful eyes almost disarmed her. Just seeing him standing there made her angry, angry and ashamed at the memory of their tryst.  
A flash of what they had shared in the interrogation room stole itself into her mind, mixing her rage with desire. It was a potent mix, intoxicating. He must have felt it too as his eyes became heavy with need, reflecting the longing that his soul cried out for. She pushed the feeling away, focusing on her anger, reminding herself of all the reasons she should hate him. Hoping that it would dull the shame she felt. For a moment they were locked in a stalemate of hate and longing.  
Rey jumped when the door to Luke’s hut creaked open and the Jedi Master emerged. Rey panicked and watched Kylo Ren; he had obviously sensed something though he could not see.

  
“Luke?”

  
He almost sounded like a young boy, emotion echoing through his voice. Rey could not identify what emotion she heard there.

  
“What’s that about?” Luke shouted.

  
Rey looked at Luke and back to Kylo, but he had vanished. It was as though he was never there.

  
—

  
Rey disappeared in front of him leaving Kylo alone in the corridor once more. The warmth her presence had bought had disappeared with her. The cold loneliness that was his constant companion had returned. His shoulders slumped ever so slightly as he let out a sigh before heading back to the medical room.

  
—

  
Things were not going the way Rey had initially thought that they would. In her naivety she had imagined speaking to Luke, having a profound conversation with the Jedi Master, getting him on the Falcon and returning triumphantly back to Leia. It was her second day on the island and one thing was very clear, Luke was damaged, damaged and bitter. After learning of Han’s death he had retreated further, Rey could not really blame him. It was Kylo Ren’s fault that Luke was here, blaming himself. He had betrayed and hurt his Master, broken his heart. He had agreed however to give her three lessons so that was a start.  
The first lesson however had not ended well. He had shown her how to connect to the force, feel it in the life blood of the galaxy; it was the life blood of the galaxy. She had understood how the force did not belong to any one person or group. She had felt its balance, the light and the dark. Luke had reacted badly however when she had reached out to the dark; but she had not been frightened, it had been merely trying to tell her something, show her something. She could not understand why he had reacted so violently, so full of fear. He had even compared her to Kylo Ren.

  
After her first lesson she returned to Chewie on the Falcon as heavy rain began to fall. After getting Chewie to contact the Resistance and ask about Finn, she stepped outside, wonderment on her face. Jakku never had rain, she had never been surrounded by so much water, never felt it fall from the sky on to her face. It was almost magical to her. Sheltering under the hull of the Falcon she reached her arm out to feel the cool drops of water on her skin.

  
—

  
Kylo stood in his ready room, staring out at the hangar on board Snoke’s ship, the Supremacy. He was in the heart of the First Order, yet felt disconnected from everything around him. The most connection he had ever had, to anyone or anything was her, the scavenger girl he’d given himself to. As his thoughts settled on her, he felt a tingle in the atmosphere, like electricity dancing on the air. Turning he knew that he would see her. Had he conjured her with his thoughts?  
She had not yet seen or sensed him, so for a second he could watch her. He drank her in as she stood smiling, she looked so happy. He wondered what was making her feel that way, then it dawned on him; it was the rain, of course. Her face was damp and little droplets of water ran down her face. She was reaching her arm out to feel the water, he wanted to smile. Then she sensed him and her expression changed immediately.  
Her expression went from pure joy, to dread and disgust in a millisecond.

  
“Murderous snake!” she hissed.

  
She was always on the attack; he felt the rage and hurt inside of her. He took a step closer towards her, drawn to her. She flinched slightly but stood her ground, watching him study her.

  
“You’re not here, you can’t hurt me.”

  
“Then why are you still afraid?”

  
Her dark eyes glared out at him from her pale face.

  
“I’m not!”

  
His look told her he was not convinced.

  
“I would never hurt you.”

  
“Unless you’re throwing me at a tree!”

  
He visibly flinched at the memory of what had happened in the woods.

  
“You were going to attack me,” he said simply. “I lost control.”

  
It was less of an apology and more of a statement.

  
“Anyway, you lost,” she snapped. “I found Skywalker.”

  
“How’s that going for you?” Kylo asked. “Has he told you what happened, the night I destroyed his temple? Has he told you why?”

  
Rey was not expecting him to bring that up, what relevance did it have?

  
“I know everything I need to know about you.”

  
“You do?” he asked, peering intently into her eyes. “Oh you do.”

  
Hi voice was deep and smooth; Rey could not help a shiver dance through her.

  
“You have that look in your eyes, from the forest, when you called me a monster.”

  
He stepped even closer; Rey could not help but wonder if she could reach out and touch him across the stars.

  
“You are a monster!” she tried to reign in her emotions.

  
“Yes I am.”

  
As she looked back at him, she expected to see mockery, anger and malice in his eyes. All she found there was pain, pain, conflict and misery. Then he was gone and she once more stared out at the tumultuous ocean.

  
—

  
Rey marched away from the Caretaker camp where the natives partied, her blood boiling. Master Skywalker had tricked her, tricked her into thinking that the Caretakers were under attack and needed her help. He had been trying to prove a point. She marched across the meadow intending to go to her hut and get some sleep, she would leave tomorrow. Skywalker had made it clear he would not help. The night had fallen and stars painted a now clear sky. Then she sensed it again, sensed him, her arms prickled with goose bumps.

  
“I'd rather not do this right now,” she said without turning.

  
“Yeah, me too,” Kylo replied.

She braced herself to face her enemy and turned to him.

  
“Why did you hate your father?” she demanded angrily, before stopping short. “Oh!”

  
Kylo was naked from the waist up, alone in his chambers. His pale skin looked slick with sweat as though he had been working out. The sight of his large muscular body bought the memory of their passion flooding back. Only now his beautiful body was branded by her scar, which ran down his face, neck and collarbone. Kylo did not seem embarrassed at her seeing him, not after what they had already done.

  
“He was a weak minded fool,” he replied finally.

  
“I don’t believe you,” she said. “You’re going to...do you have a cowl or something you can put on?”

  
Kylo ignored her request, a small part of him pleased that he had that effect on her, he took another step forward. His eyes were dark, full of longing and need.

  
“Why did you hate Han Solo?” her voice was choked with tears. “You had a father who loved you; he gave a damn about you.”

  
“I didn’t hate him.”

  
“Then why?” Rey demanded.

  
“Why what? Say it?”

  
It was as though he were pushing her somewhere.

  
“Why did you kill him? I don’t understand.”

  
She could not understand the man she had seen in the interrogation room, and the monster that had killed his father. How were they the same?

  
“No? Your parents threw you away like garbage.”

  
“They didn’t.”

  
Even to herself she did not sound convincing. Their connection to each other had given each other insight, both into memories and abilities. He carried on.

  
“They did, but you still can’t stop needing them. It’s your greatest weakness. You look for them everywhere, in Han Solo, now in Skywalker.”

  
He paused examining her; she was on the verge of tears. He did not want to hurt her but she had to see, had to understand the truth.

  
“Did he tell you what happened that night?”

  
“Yes, he told me everything.”

  
He could see it in her eyes, she didn’t know. He opened his mind up to her, let her in, and let her see the memory. She saw everything; it felt as though her heart cracked when she saw the look in Ben’s eyes as Luke hovered over him with his sabre. So scared and alone. She reacted as though she had been burnt.

  
“He had sensed my power, as he senses yours, and he feared it.”

  
“Liar.”

  
All the conviction had gone from her voice; he hated how torn she looked. Yet he could see that she believed him, knew what he had shown her to be true.

  
“Let the past die, kill it if you have to. That’s the only way to become what you were meant to be.”

  
Then she disappeared and he was alone in his room once more.

  
His skin felt fevered and his whole body ached. Being in her presence was unlike anything he had ever felt before. It was the closest he had felt to belonging. The thought of her being in his quarters aroused him, and the look in her eyes shot through him. The way she had reacted to his body, he knew that she still desired him though she fought it with her rage.

  
He wanted her again, his whole being hummed with need. The memory of her skin touching his lips, the feel of her beneath him, open to him and him alone. He could not help it and opened his trousers and gripped his hard length. It throbbed in his hand. He had to find a release somehow. He stroked his erection at the memory of Rey’s face in ecstasy driving him on. His hand pressed against the wall, his head was thrown back, eyes closed. His efforts got faster and he began to pump himself, more desperate, more urgent. He was close. He groaned and closed his eyes as a painful pleasure plagued his body. The last thing he saw as he shattered was Rey’s face looking at him in disgust and anger. His body shuddered, he gasped.  
Cleaning himself he sat on his bed breathing heavily. He did not feel any better; he wanted Rey in every way, but now he just felt empty, empty and shamed. He was weak, as weak as Snoke thought he was. Weak for wanting her, desiring her, needing her. He should be beyond such base desires. Yet he still craved her touch, it was like a drug. His craving turned to shame, shame that he had pleasured himself to her memory. A feeling crept into his heart, a truth, a truth he had always known. He did not deserve her, she was strong, maybe stronger than him and she hated him, but he could not hate her. She was right; he was a monster in every way.


	4. Bonded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey is lost and alone and only has one person to turn to, her enemy.

Rey ran up craggy hill to her hut, tears streamed down her face, mingling with the rain that now fell. Her clothes clung to her body, wet and cold. The cave had shown her what she had asked to see, in the mirror. It had shown her that she was alone, that there was only her. There had been a shady silhouette standing the other side of the mirror, but all she had seen was her reflection. She had wept bitter tears. Why had she expected to find something, someone? It was just her, she felt so alone, so empty and discarded. As she had stood in the mirror and faced the truth, she knew deep down that there was only one person who would understand. Only one person in the whole galaxy understood her, understood the aching hole her loneliness gnawed at. Her enemy.

  
As soon she entered the hut she could feel him through the force. She closed her eyes and reached out. Reopening her eyes she found him there, right next to her in the hut. He was sat down, watching her intently, patiently waiting. Had he heard her reach out to him, had he responded to her need for him? He was surprised that when she saw him, instead of the usual anger, there was relief. Relief surged through her at his presence.

  
“You came?”

  
She wiped the tears from her face, the rain and cave water still soaking her body. He nodded.

  
“Of course I came.”

  
She sat opposite to him on the stone bench, not breaking eye contact.

  
“You should get dry and warm,” he said, she looked chilled to the bone.

  
She pulled the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around her shoulders. She looked so vulnerable, something had shaken her. He wanted to reach out to her, comfort her but he stayed still. Rey stoked the fire causing little sparks to jump out, fiery speckles crackling in the air.  
She told him everything, her conversations with Luke, his lessons, her visit to the cave and the vision. He said nothing the whole time she spoke, just listened carefully. Occasionally a flicker of emotion would flit across his stoic face.

  
“All that the cave showed me was that I had been right the whole time,” she whispered. “I am alone.”

  
“No.”

  
His voice was soft and low, but his face was open and earnest.

  
“You’re not alone,” he said, reassuring her.

  
She could sense his feelings, his emotions, right there and then he was allowing her in. He must have sensed that she needed it; he would not admit that he needed it too. She knew that this was no trick, he meant those words. Those words that felt like a healing balm, breaking through the cold isolation she felt.

  
“Neither are you,” she replied, tentatively raising her hand out to him. “It isn’t too late.”

  
He hesitated, he knew he should leave, so why couldn’t he? In his heart he knew it was because he could not leave her, not when she felt like this. He knew that he wanted to make her feel better, he wanted to block out the loneliness she felt. He removed his glove and slowly reached out to touch her hand, her hand she so willingly offered.

  
Neither of them knew what would happen, and as their fingers actually touched, both felt a jolt shoot through them. Somehow they could physically interact across the galaxy. As their fingers touched both marvelled at how this felt intimate, more intimate than their lovemaking. It was a physical reassurance in each other as their emotions and thoughts mingled.

  
“Ben?”

  
It was Ben, Ben Solo who sat there looking at her right now, Ben Solo who was breaking through the cracks in Kylo’s mask. She grasped his hand fully, determined to hold on to him. His large fingers wrapped around hers, both felt the force humming between them.  
He subconsciously pulled her hand a little closer to him, before pausing. He would not take what had not been given, despite the desire drowning his body. Rey however had other ideas. She needed more, wanted more; they were in this together now, they had to be. She slid from the bench and moved closer to Kylo, the blanket slid from her shoulders. She positioned herself, kneeling between his knees, still grabbing his hand. She reached her other hand up and gently held his face. He let out a deep sigh at her touch. He had ached for this since Starkiller Base.

  
“Let me in,” she whispered.

  
It would be so easy to he thought.

  
“Together we can make things right,” she continued, massaging his hand with her thumb.

  
Her words were so seductive, she was so earnest. Rey looked up into Ben’s eyes. Their faces drew closer instinctively. It felt as though a string were tied around each other’s souls binding them tighter together.

  
Her hand felt warm on his face, warm and tender. Their lips were almost touching, energy crackled around them, both anticipating the touch. Both wanted more, both needed more. He let his free hand reach around her waist as she leant in.

  
“Stop!” a voice yelled, interrupting them, breaking the spell that they had wound each other.

  
The stones of the hut exploded outwards as Luke Skywalker stood in the doorway, he looked horrified. Rey and Kylo look stunned at the explosive intrusion. Rey felt cold as Kylo disappeared, her hands holding thin air. The heavy rain fell down upon them.

  
“Is it true?” she yelled, getting to her feet. “Did you try to murder him?”

  
—

  
As Rey co-piloted the Falcon with Chewie she played over her fight with Luke in her head. He had still not agreed to help her; he was still determined to hide on his island, even more so now. He could still see no light in Kylo; he had no hope in him. He had no hope in her. His words echoed in her head.

  
“You gave yourself to the dark side for a pair of dark pretty eyes!”

  
She grew angry at his accusations, though she knew that there was a ring of truth to it. Luke had opened up to the force, he had seen what they were, what they had done. He had been disgusted by her, disappointed. He could not judge, he had betrayed Ben, tried to kill him when he had needed him the most. She knew what she had to do, and maybe, just maybe she could help the Resistance and save Ben.

  
—

  
Kylo had felt her presence as soon as his men had picked up her up in the escape pod. She had come into enemy territory alone, in an escape pod armed with just a blaster and her sabre, for him. A small smile danced across his lips at her tenacity. He helped her out of the pod, both of them noting the thrum of the force as they touched. He took her sabre from her as the guards took her blaster, he gestured curtly for a trooper to cuff her.

  
“That’s not necessary,” said Rey quietly, trying to show a feeling of confidence that she currently did not feel.

  
“We’ll see,” Kylo replied.

  
Rey tried to quell the feelings of panic that arose. She steadied herself, she had to trust the force, thrust their bond. She had to.  
Rey followed Kylo as he walked across the hangar, trying to keep up to his long sturdy strides. She reached out and felt his emotions; they were churning like the sea on Ach Too. He was unsure, anxious and torn. He walked her into the turbo lift, the troopers staying outside. The door swished shut on them as Kylo hit the control panel. The lift hummed and whirred as it shot upwards into the bowels of Snoke’s ship.

  
Kylo tried staring ahead, ignoring her. She would not let him.

  
“You don’t have to do this.”

  
“Yes I do.”

  
He still looked ahead, the muscles in his face tensing.

  
“I can feel the conflict in you,” she tried again. “It’s tearing you apart.”

  
“Is that why you’ve come, to tell me about my conflict? You have no idea what’s tearing me apart.”

  
She stepped closer to him.

  
“You know that I do. I know that Luke betrayed you, you felt as though you had no choice. You saw his vision; you thought that was your only path. You were wrong.”

  
She could feel that he was trying to push her out, she wouldn’t let him.

  
“Ben, look at me.”

  
The use of his name, his old name made him face her. His eyes bared his pain, his longing, confusion and sorrow. The way she said it was like a plea.

  
“When we touched I saw your future,” she told him. “Just a shape of it, but solid and clear. You will not bow before Snoke. You will turn, I’ll help you.”

  
He slammed his hand on the control panel and stopped the lift.

  
“Rey...”

  
She closed the gap between them, she noticed his breathing falter. He could smell her, the scent of the ocean still on her skin, a sweet muskiness. Their eyes were still locked together as she leant her head forward slightly, her lips parted. She wanted it, he could feel it, and he wanted it too. Their lips met, gently, tenderly, both experiencing a rush of longing. He deepened the kiss, pushing in with his tongue and she responded in kind. His arousal stiffened at their joining and she felt that familiar warm rush between her legs. His arms wrapped around her holding him to her, as her hands worked their way up into his hair pulling and tugging.  
The heat between them exploded, the tension of the last few days breaking under pressure. He wanted her so much, but he couldn’t take her, not here, not like this. It did not mean he could not give her anything however. He turned her around and placed her hands on the wall of the elevator, holding her from behind. She kept trying to turn back round to kiss him, puzzled as to what he was doing.

  
“No Rey, trust me,” he whispered heavily into her ear, kissing her neck.

  
Kissing her neck as he inhaled the scent of her hair he slid one hand up her torso under her shirt and plied his hand upon her breast. The tiny gasp of pleasure she let out made him groan and drove him on. With his free hand he slid it down the front of her trousers to her crease that was damp with need and desire. He teased and stroked her nub gently with his leather covered hands. Using gentle circular motions he picked up the pace in time with her breathing. His face rested on her neck as she squirmed beneath him, crying out more desperately each time. He felt her tense before shuddering all over; she leant back against him, limp in his arms that locked her in place. He released his hands from her and turned her round, holding her up. Her limbs felt as though they were floating, like they weren’t attached to her anymore. Her lids were heavy with desire and opened to look at him. He kissed her deeply once more, the thrill of tasting her echoed through him. He had no idea if they would survive this, so had wanted to give her this moment. A moment of life and energy. She reached her hand downwards to his erection, wanting to give him the same pleasure he had given her. The same taste of belonging and being wanted. He gently pushed her hand away shaking his head, she looked hurt but it was for the best. He had to be ready for what was to come.

  
She had come here for him; she had trusted him then, given herself to him again. He knew what he needed to now. He was beyond certain. He reluctantly pulled away from her and hit the control panel again continuing their journey upwards.

  
“I saw something too when we touched hands, and because of what I saw I know that when the time comes, you’ll be the one to turn. You’ll stand with me Rey.” He said quietly but so confident. “I saw who your parents are.”

  
She looked back and saw he spoke the truth and believed in what he had seen. His face was impassive once more though his eyes betrayed him. The elevator stopped and the door opened. Destiny had come for both of them


	5. Angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo are both angry over their apparent rejection of each other in Snoke's Throne Room. However neither can fight the desire between them despite the rage, pain and loneliness they feel.

It had been exactly one month since the showdown between the Resistance and the First Order on Crait’s surface. Rey knew that because, she knew exactly how long it had been since she had seen Kylo last; exactly a month since the events in the throne room. The Resistance had retreated to Takodana with the intention of lying low and building up their forces once more. Leia sent out spies and envoys to potential allies, but so far nothing. A few of their ships that had been off world when the base had been destroyed had regrouped, but numbers were still low, many of their leaders were dead. Leia sat in the mess tent, her food untouched, watching Rey. Rey sat at another table with Finn and Rose, her food too untouched. While she responded to her friends, her mind, her emotions were elsewhere. Leia felt out into the force, as Luke had shown her. She immediately hit a sea of turmoil, something was wrong. As she looked over at the young woman, she knew it was related to her, and her son. Leia’s heart winced at the thought of her son. She had sensed that Rey cared for her son, and the girl had spoken to her after Crait about what had happened. She knew that she had tried to help him, and reached out to him, that he’d saved her but that ultimately he had still chosen a darker path. What Rey had told her had reignited her hope for her son. She would not give up on him, not now. Knowing what she did of Rey in the short time that she’d known her, she didn’t think that she would give up either.

Rey poked at her food, annoyed at herself for not eating it straight away. Years of scavenging for scraps had taught her to never waste anything, least of all food.

“You gonna eat that?” Finn asked, pointing his fork at her tray.

“Hmmm?”

“Your lunch, you gonna eat that?”

Rose nudged Finn firmly in the ribs, rolling her eyes.

“Oh sure, I don’t have much of an appetite today,” Rey pushed the tray towards her friend.

Finn did not need to be told twice and tucked in, ignoring Rose’s gaze.

“Are you okay Rey?”

Rey looked restless, uncomfortable and in truth had done since Crait.

“I think I am going to get some exercise in,” Rey replied standing.

“I was hoping you’d help me fix the power relays on a couple of the x-wings,” said Rose, hopeful.

“Sure, later?”

Rose nodded as Rey left. Finn and Rose watched her go, before giving each other a knowing look.

—

Rey walked off into the woods, nervous energy coursing through her. It was distracting. She knew that her friends were worried, that Leia watched her concerned. She could not tell them though, they just would not understand. They did not really know who she was or what she wanted. They did not understand that she had failed to save Ben. They did not know Ben. She had been so sure; she had seen his future, a future with her. She had seen them together; it was what they both wanted. When he had killed his Master for her, done that for her, and they had fought side by side she had thought her vision was coming to pass. How could it not be? Yet he had still clung to the path he had taken, he still clutched on to Kylo Ren as though it were his lifeline. He had begged her to join him, to take his hand. His eyes had practically screamed of his pain. He had wanted her, just her, a nobody and a scavenger. Everything inside of her had wanted to take his hand, no Ben’s hand, and be with him. She couldn’t though; she would never have lived with herself if her friends had died. She had thought that she would be enough, she had been stupid. She could not save him, she had been wrong. He could only save himself, but he had not wanted to. All of her realisations did not change reality, that she missed him, even though she was still angry at him. She cursed at herself as she pushed through the foliage of the forest, getting angry at branches that got in the way.

She stumbled out into a clearing, the sunlight basking the ground in a golden glow. Small white flowers speckled the green ground like delicate jewels. The sound of small creatures scurrying in the undergrowth could be heard, as well as a gentle stream nearby. She stood for a moment, temper temporarily abated as she drank in her surroundings. Every new part of the galaxy she saw was a gift to her after years of barren desert and sand. She reached out and touched the cool leaves on a bush next to her, soft and silky in her fingertips. She stepped out into the clearing and sat cross legged on the soft tufting grass. She tilted her face upwards with her eyes closed, letting the sun warm her face. She took a deep breath and tried to release the tension she felt within. Reaching out with the force she sent her feelings out like tendrils into the cosmos. Her anger ebbed and flowed and eventually melted away as she became at peace in the force, letting it soothe her. She felt at one with everything, she was part of the galaxy and the galaxy was a part of her; even Ben.

‘Wait what?’

Her eyes snapped open to find Ben curled up asleep in front of her. No it was Kylo she reminded herself. He was dressed in his uniform, his black cape folded under his head as a makeshift pillow, clutching his sabre in his hand.

Rey’s breathing settled as she realised that her did not know that she was there. She had tried to reach out to him this past month on more than one occasion, but had met only barriers. He was strong and had been stubbornly keeping her out, nursing her rejection of him. That in turn had made her angrier. Yet here he was. He must have let his guard down, causing her to wonder if he had slept as little as she had. She noted the dark circles under his eyes. Lying there he looked so young, so vulnerable. She wanted to reach out and stroke his raven hair, his pale face and trace the scar she had left. She immediately scolded herself; she was weak, weak for wanting him still.

She knelt over him, wishing that things were different. She wanted to reach into his mind, pick and pull apart the pain he felt. She wouldn’t though. She looked back down at him as his eyes flew open, staring into hers. For a second all that she could see was the terror in his eyes, it was the same look he had given his uncle that infamous night where Luke had given into to doubt. His grip tightened on his sabre, his knuckles ghostly white. Her heart ached at his reaction but she was still too angry to show it. She stood huffing, brushing herself down.

“If I was going to kill you, I'd have done it while you were asleep!” she snapped.

She saw his muscles relax slightly, but his expression was still guarded. She rolled her eyes and marched off.

‘So much for a peaceful meditation session,’ she thought.

He watched as she faded from his room. His breathing began to normalise as he released his grip on his weapon. It was his own stupid fault, he’d let her in again. He could not afford to let his guard down with her. He had successfully shut her out since Crait, despite feeling her subtle probing in the force. She had hurt him; she had refused his hand when he had offered it. He would have given her anything.

‘That’s not true though is it?’ he reminded himself.

He had not saved her friends. She had to understand why though, had to understand why he had to stay strong, to complete his mission. The look on her distraught face had almost broken him. She had been within reach but he could feel her falling through his fingers. Desperate not to lose her he had lost his temper, tried to make her face the truth. He had lost anyway. He had felt raging at her initially, for leaving him, abandoning him. He wanted to wipe her out with the rest of the Resistance. Wipe her out so he couldn’t feel her anymore, so she couldn’t hurt him anymore. Then he had seen her on board the Falcon at that rage dissipated. He knew he could never have hurt her. Seeing her just, looking down at him, he had wanted nothing more than to pull her down on top of him. He wanted to show her that he had meant what he had said in the throne room, that she was something to him. He knew that she was furious at him and though his rage had abated he was still angry at her, she was being so blind. Blind to what was holding her back, weighing her down. Sitting up he stretched his long aching limbs. One of his troopers entered the small room he was using as a makeshift cabin.

“Sir, we’re about to land.”

Kylo nodded in recognition, the trooper left. Getting up he fixed his cape back around his shoulders, the weight of which seemed to press down on his shoulders. He ran his hands through his hair to smooth it down, took a deep breath and left the room.

—

Rey sat cross legged on the floor of her bedroom on board the Falcon. It had become her room by default and nobody had argued with that. She had few belongings and they were all on the Falcon. Her staff was propped up in the corner, her few clothes hung on the rails and the Jedi books were open in front of her. Also lying in front of her was the cracked kyber crystal, the broken parts of the lightsabre and other odds and ends she thought would be useful to fix it. She had read through the texts and kept looking at them for reference. It was not however, going very well.

The room was quiet, she was alone and there was nothing to interrupt her. Yes she still could not fully focus. Closing her eyes again she reached her hand out and lifted the two kyber pieces with her mind. She needed to unite them, mend them before she could start on the sabre. The two pieces floated slowly in front of her, bobbing slightly, coming slowly together. Small sparks flew and Rey could feel warmth emanating from them, a low hum could be felt but something felt off. She strained, using more effort. The crystals just clashed and rocked.

“You’re doing it wrong.”

The deep voice came out of nowhere and startled her. The kyber pieces clattered to the floor making Rey jump. Sitting behind her on the bed was Kylo Ren. She scurried to her feet, face red and angry.

“What are you doing here?” she practically snarled.

He said nothing, just looked up at her. That was when she noticed the bruising on his face, the marks on his arms. He was dressed in just his trousers and a black vest, he had obviously been resting.

“What’s happened to you?” she snapped, her face creased into a frown.

He smirked slightly though the smile did not reach his eyes, eyes that were lined with shadow.

“Don’t tell me you’re worried about me.”

Rey huffed and folded her arms.

“Why would I worry about you?”

She knew that she was lashing out at him, but she still hurt.

His expression darkened and Rey could see the ache in his eyes, but also the anger. He stood suddenly and took a step toward her; for a moment she had forgotten how tall he was. She stood her ground as always, her feet firmly planted.

“You’re the one that left me on that ship!” he raised his voice, but she could hear a slight tremor.

“You would have let my friends die!” she retorted hotly.

“We’re at war, people die!”

“Only someone that has nobody they care about would say something that callous!”

Annoyed she could feel hot tears in her eyes, blurring her vision. His silence and lack of energy indicated that her remark had hit a nerve.

“You’re the one that left me,” he was still angry but his voice had dropped.

“You left me no choice!” she shouted, stepping closer to him.

He looked down at her, eyes flashing, fists clenched, nostrils flared and wanted to make her realise, realise what she was doing to him.

“You said that I wasn’t alone,” she half shouted through her angry tears, choking on the words. “You lied!”

She hit out at him with her palms upon his chest, still shocked that she could physically feel him.

“Liar,” she cried again.

She hit him again, but he did not stop her. He just stood there, confronted with her raw emotions that seemed so like his own. She hit him again and started sobbing before leaning against his chest. He looked down at her unsure before slowly, tentatively wrapping his arms around her and letting her cry.

Her crying faded to a soft sob, his vest became soaked with her tears. It began to dawn on Rey what she was doing, what they were doing. Her head snapped up angry once more, eyes red and swollen glared at him.

“Leave me alone!”

She went to hit him again but he caught her wrists and held her firmly. Both were locked, neither wanting to back down, both breathing heavily. Kylo’s hands on her wrists seemed to burn her skin; the memory of them upon her body lit a flame within her.

“What do you want Rey?” his voice was exasperated, heavy. “What do you want?”

His expression was so intense yet did not frighten her, she liked it, and she wanted it. She lurched forward and kissed him hard on the lips, almost missing them in her haste. He needed no encouragement and kissed her back. Their anger and pain converted into something else. The flame lit within her grew and they would burn together. Letting go of her arms he wrapped them around her pulling her into his body. He groaned at her lithe form pressed against his and felt swollen with need. She began to tear his vest from him, wanting to get to the skin and muscle underneath. She pulled her own tunic off and threw it upon the floor pushing Kylo back on to the bed. He fell backwards and pulled her with him. She landed on top of his chest and he kissed her again, pulling her hair from her buns and pushing his fingers through it. He hated those buns; her hair should always be free.

Kneeling over him she undid her trousers before pulling them down and casting them aside. With satisfaction she noted Kylo’s face grow hungry, his length pressing against his clothes, painfully tight. She undid the fastenings around his waist exposing his shaft, swollen and throbbing, the tip moist and ready for her. She wanted to punish him, hurt him, use him. Grabbing him she rubbed herself with him against her slit so that she could feel how wet she was. She did it again making him groan. He tried to clutch her thighs but using the force she threw his arms back and slapped him hard across the face. He reeled in shock and surprise, looking up at her angry face. He was unsure but felt her rage within. If this was what she needed he would let her. He was desperate for her and would take anything that she would give him. She slid her hands up his torso, keeping one hand on his chest and one around his neck. She squeezed slightly, it was warm and thick; her hand couldn’t span it. She squeezed harder, enjoying the dark thrill it gave her, enjoying the slight panic pass across his face.

“Rey,” he gasped.

She released her grasp slightly.

“What do YOU want?”

He struggled for words, sensing the darkness within her, he had done this.

“Say it!”

She tightened her grip again, his face reddened.

“You,” he choked.

She let go as he grasped for breath.

“I want you,” he said, his voice hoarse.

She paused for a moment, some of the anger had gone and her face softened for a second as she looked at his expression, earnest and exposed.

Without saying anything she drove herself down onto him, impaling herself. Both cried out at the same time. She took a breath and holding his chest she pulled herself up and drove herself down again, hard. A tear fell down her face as she looked down at him, so she closed her eyes. She flinched as she felt a warm hand wipe the tear away.

“Rey?” he whispered.

She ignored him and using her thighs rode him, fiercely. The sound of their grunts and flesh slapping together filled the cabin. She pushed down on him so hard that it hurt, but she didn’t care, she needed this, she needed to drive the pain away. Her pace quickened to become frantic and urgent. He began to buck beneath her and match her pace, grasping her thighs and thrusting his hips upward. She felt her insides begin to buckle, a tidal wave of sensation increased through her. He felt her come apart and watched her as it happened, her face contorted, sweat glistening upon her brow. He drove himself to his own completion; he thrust once more and cried out as his whole body spasmed. His head arched back exposing his white throat. She cried and collapsed down on to him.

Both lay there shaking, spent and exhausted, breathing heavily. Kylo went to rest his arms around her but she rolled off and away from him. He watched her not sure what she would do now. The air was still tense between them. She sat on the edge of the bed, her back to him.

“I still hate you,” she said quietly, thought there was less anger in her voice now.

“I know,” he whispered.

It was quiet for a moment and Rey began to feel cold. She turned to look at him, but he’d gone. There was just a tall dent in the mattress where he had lain. Rey began to cry.


	6. Hunger

There was her, always her. He could not drive the Scavenger from his mind, he craved her body and soul. She had a part of him with her, held captive in her very being try as he might to ignore it, and though she hated him. He needed to be free of her, free of everything. He had been a prisoner all of his life. Kylo had thought that being Supreme Leader would bring power and freedom; it had however bought its own bars of restriction. He had underestimated how much extra work his ‘promotion’ would involve. There was so much signing things, reading reports, inspections and meetings, it just went on and on. He was fully aware that his position was precarious and that some doubted his leadership. Hux was always watching. There had been two attempts on his life already and though he could not prove it, he knew it was Hux. The Admiral had covered his tracks well and lay in wait like a snake, ready to kill. Kylo could not afford to make any mistakes. He had not slept again and it was beginning to take its toll upon him. He rubbed his temples trying to chase away the pressure headache that had begun to build up there. The sides of his head felt as though they were pushing in on him, like he was splitting from the inside out. The headaches were beginning to get worse. He had thought that in killing Snoke he would finally be free, yet he still felt as though he were being crushed by an invisible weight. He could not afford a distraction right now and that is what Rey was, in every way. Yet what a distraction.

On board the bridge of his ship the Finalizer, he closed his eyes for just a second and remembered their last encounter. She had been furious, raging and fiery and it had been glorious. She had finally seen him for what he was, a monster, so she had treated him as thus. He deserved nothing less, it was easier this way, for her to hate him. As he opened his eyes a familiar hum filled the air, taking his breath. He found her there in the bridge of his ship, sweating and out of breath. Her staff in hand, she stood across from him in front of the viewscreen in a rigid stance. He looked around panicking, but nobody could see her, just him. His hands gripped the arms of his chair at the sight of her. Everything was still, except for their breathing. He was suddenly jarred from the experience when she shouted suddenly and aimed fire over his head with her blaster.

“Run, take cover!”

She dived and rolled and ran across the bridge before disappearing. He leapt to his feet drawing curious glances from Hux who stood to attention on his left. He had to know what was happening.

“Take the bridge!” he barked before marching from the room.

Hux’s eyes narrowed and watched the Supreme Leader leave the room.

−

Rey cursed herself for getting distracted by him, even though it had been the briefest of moments. It could have cost her or someone else’s life. They had arrived on Felucia after a tip off from a spy regarding a shipment of weapons for the First Order. The First Order had a small station there and little presence but it seemed that they were looking to expand. The report stated that the shipment would arrive before the extra troops did, so Rey had devised a plan. It had seemed simple enough at the time, though Poe had argued with her against it deeming it too dangerous. It turned out he was right, for when they got there the station was swarming with Troopers. It had been an ambush.

Chewie and the others had managed to get away but she was pinned down. She aimed two blaster shots at the Troopers chasing her, one hit its target a the other clipped a tree. Swearing she turned and ran into the jungle, taking care not to trip over roots or branches that stuck up twisted from the ground. Using the trees as cover she wound and meandered through the foliage, her lungs about to burst. She had to get away and meet the others at the rendezvous point, they would know what to do.

She sheltered behind a huge twisting trunk, gnarled and covered in purple moss. Leaning against it the tree felt cool in contrast to her hot damp skin. The air was so humid on this planet, damp and acrid. She was accustomed to the dry dusty heat of Jakku, but this was different. Trying to take deep steady breaths she felt out into the jungle with the force, everything was quiet and steady. She had lost them. She sighed with relief as beads of sweat trickled down her face. Noting the darkening sky painted a deep crimson she knew that she needed to find shelter. She would never find the others in the dark. A strange gurgling howling noise echoed through the night causing Rey to quicken her step and clutch her staff tighter.

−

The Finalizer had arrived at Coruscant where Kylo was to meet with the other Leaders of the First Order. Some would question his right to rule and his authority. He would need to ascertain which ones he could trust, which ones he would need to keep a close eye on or replace completely. The Knights of Ren would be meeting him here also, he had been without their support for some time now as they had been spread across the galaxy fulfilling Snoke’s wishes. Focus on his rule and the First Order’s agenda should be topmost in his mind, but all he could think of as her. Where was she? Was she hurt? His holo link buzzed into life and the pale cold face of Hux appeared.

“We have arrived Supreme Leader.”

Kylo nodded.

“Ready my shuttle.”

“Yes Sir.”

The link disconnected and Hux disappeared only to be replaced by Rey, sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her knees. She looked up wearily with a face streaked with dust and what looked like tears or sweat.

“You again,” she muttered.

“I could say the same.”

“Well I didn’t ask you to be here.”

“Where are you?”

“As if I’m going to tell you that,” she rolled her eyes.

Kylo just shrugged.

“Earlier, you were under attack?”

She shot to her feet, a mass of anger as her dark eyes glared at him.

“Don’t pretend to be surprised, they were your men! The all-powerful Supreme Leader getting them to do his dirty work.”

She looked him up and down in disgust but he stood solid and unmovable. His face a mask though his eyes flickered with emotion. She folded her arms and planted her feet wide in a defiant stance.

“So how is life as the Supreme Leader? Now you have everything that you wanted.”

She could not help but goad him, because if she didn’t…

“You know that I don’t.”

His voice was angry though controlled.

“I am doing what I have to do,” he continued. “Besides you left me, you abandoned me, just like everybody else.”

“I want to save my friends and you condemn me?! I was right the first time I met you, you’re a creature in a mask, a monster,” she snarled.

His jaw clenched and his dark eyes narrowed, she could not tell if it was anger or something else entirely. Her words provoked him, he felt the darkness surround him, prompting his next words.

“What of all those things we have done together?” he eyed her up and down hungrily. “If I am a monster, what does that make you?”

He had her, he could tell as just for a moment she faltered. Her eyes spoke of disgust, anger, confusion and desire; he could feel it too, her emotions were crying out to him through the force. She slapped him violently across the face, echoing the scar she had given him.

“I used you, that’s all,” she snapped, drawing on her rage to give her strength, to hurt him. “Its all that you deserve, your worthless, worthless garbage.”

She had stepped closer to him and despite the countless parsecs between them, their faces almost touched. They could feel the heat and their hunger emanate from each other, anger and desire swirling together in a potent concoction. The darkness between them throbbed with a seductive need. Kylo could smell the mix of sweat and musk on her damp glistening skin.

“I used you because you were too weak to say no,” her voice was full of vitriol and malice.

She knew that she was trying to provoke him, hurt him and it worked. He growled and lunged grabbing her face he kissed her hard. Their faced clashed conflicting, unrelenting. His anger and lust fuelled her, drove her on, they had gone too far now to stop. Kylo pulled her to him and lifted her as she wrapped her legs around his waist, tightening her grip. They fell to the floor in a panting heap, still kissing as the heat escalated. Kylo briefly noted that he could feel the air around her, warm and humid; so, she was somewhere tropical like a jungle maybe? Those thoughts soon fled as she tried to pull him down on top of her and began tugging at his clothes.

“No!” he snapped, for a moment her eyes widened at his harsh tone.

He did not back down and glared at her, moistening his lips with his tongue, his grip on her wrists tightening. He was in charge now; he would show her who Kylo Ren was, the monster.

Pulling her up he turned her around so her back was flush against him. She tried to move but he held her firmly in place. He ran one hand up her torso before cupping her left breast and kneading it roughly with his fingers. He pushed his hand under the fabric of her vest and squeezed and pulled her nipple. She whimpered at his touch and rubbed herself against him. He pressed his face roughly into her neck, inhaling her scent, the heady aroma of her sex. He licked and kissed her neck, tasting the salt, gently nipping her while his hand worked her breast.

“Do you want me to stop?” he demanded into her ear.

Rey shook her head, pushing her rear into him, feeling his arousal. The darkness that she felt within arose in an inferno. His hand paused causing her to squirm beneath him.

“I said do you want me to stop?” his voice was rough and gravelled.

She shook her head again.

“Say it!”

“No,” she gasped.

He rubbed his face into her neck again and felt the force hum and throb between them. His hand travelled from her pert breast down to the fastening of her trousers. She tensed in his arms in anticipation and held her breath. His hand slid roughly down and touched her tender flesh where she was warm and wet, oh so wet, needing him. He groaned into her neck as she released a little gasp. He rubbed her slowly and firmly his fingers playing her like a delicate instrument. Her whimpers, gasps and murmurs fed him.

Growing frustrated at the barrier of her clothing he withdrew his hand, and pulled her trousers forcibly down. She felt a cold rush of air around her thighs, she sighed at the sensation. Trying to turn to face him she was surprised when he stopped her and pushed her on to all fours. He wanted to kiss her, hold her face but he was a monster and she needed to see that. Rey was uncertain for he had not been like this before, she felt exposed and nervous. He sensed it and for a moment his anger slipped. He placed a hand gently on her lower back, it was warm and soothing. His other hand slid to her opening and stroked along her entrance making her gasp, and bite down on her lip. He reached into her mind as his fingers reached into her. She could feel him inside of her mind, spreading, covering. He was connected to her in every way and it felt intoxicating.

He scissored her with his fingers, and his vision almost blurred as he felt her pleasure too. It was beautiful, an exquisite torture. He quickened the pace and applied more pressure when he sensed that she needed it, her cries becoming more desperate. That sound drove him mad; he pressed his palm on to his erection trying to relieve the pressure. He almost could not take it when she started to thrust backwards in time to his fingers. Her need was spiralling, she was almost there he could feel it so he removed his fingers. He was not going to make it easy for her. She suddenly felt empty, her need for fulfilment torturous.

“Please,” she whispered.

For a moment he just held her hips still, looking down at her. She tried to push back again but he pushed her forward holding her in stasis for just a moment. He undid his trouser buttons and held himself in his hands. He pushed forward and plunged himself into her all the way non too gently. He grunted as she screamed out at the sudden invasion. He was rough and it hurt her but she wanted it, savoured it. Tightening his grip, he began to pump into her, using her, taking her. She cried out with every thrust as he filled all of her. The sound of their flesh smacking roughly together echoed around them, dispersed with grunts and cries. He moved one hand up her back and into her hair pulling it loose. He tugged on it as his thrusts grew more violent and urgent. He felt himself unravelling inside of her, he was aware that she was reeling from him. Pleasure and torturous pain over and over. He gave way and emptied himself inside of her. She screamed and trembled as he cried out with what sounded like a sob and a shudder. He fell over her panting as sweat rand down her face. They collapsed onto the floor in a tangled heap, panting and sweating with Kylo half draped across her.

Her face was turned away from him, her hands pressed out in front of her flat on the floor. Now that their coupling was over Kylo felt regret, regret and an all-consuming sadness. He was emptier now than he had been before; he had used her, hurt her. It was not supposed to be like this, not with her. He’s let his pain and anger take over; the dark had consumed him. He pulled her trousers back up over her and sat up next to her. Looking down at her he gently placed a hand on her shoulders.

“Rey?”

His voice came out as a hoarse whisper but she did not respond, did not even turn to look at him. She carried on lying there and let her breathing settle. She couldn’t bring herself to look at him. She could feel his regret and shame for it mirrored her own, he was no more to blame than she was. She had wanted it to happen, dark desire had flowed through her and she had let it, willingly. Focusing she pushed outwards violently and closed the force bond. She was left alone in the cave, the darkness surrounding her. Curling up in a ball she tried to drown out the sorrow and ignore the Kylo’s attempts to reach her.

−

For three weeks Kylo desperately tried to get through to her but she blocked him at every turn. He could not sleep and felt sick to the stomach that their last encounter had gone as it had. All he could think of was her, he felt as though he was missing a part of himself, she carried it with her and would not give it back. Her resistance was an impenetrable wall built from her anger, confusion and pain. Alone in his quarters he sat on the edge of his bed with his head in his hands. Sleep was evading him yet again. He had thought that after finding Rey and killing Snoke, that the heaviness he felt, the bone-weary loneliness would lift. It had not. The darkness had permeated him. He knew that his own choices had led him here, how could they not have? He had to push on, bury the past, free himself. As he sat there, he felt a snag in the force, something pulling at him. He reached out with his feelings focusing on the pain that seeped through. Pain and loneliness. He felt that familiar rush of energy flow through him, the force tuning him in. The bond was open, she was there. Looking around he was surprised to see that Rey was in bed next to him. Was it her bed or his? He could not tell. She lay huddled under the blankets quietly crying.

“Rey?”

The figure under the crumpled fabric stiffened at his voice and fell silent. She did not move and stayed under the blanket.

“Leave me alone,” she whispered.

Her voice sounded so small; the usual fire was missing.

“About the last time…”

He was not sure what to say, for what could he say?

“If…I…hurt…”

“Oh, shut up,” she snapped. “I don’t have time for this.”

He knew that she would be angry.

“Still, what I did…”

Rey sat up huffing, her loose hair dishevelled, eyes red and face pale.

“I’m a big girl, it took both of us.”

They both sat staring at each other, awkward silence reigning over them.

“You were upset why?” he asked eventually.

“Why do you care?”

Always on the defence, always the aggression he noted. She did not answer but pulled the blanket up higher around her. He tried to read her but her defences were back up, although she had not yet closed the bond. She was in pain but he was struggling to define it.

“Have you been hurt?” his eyes scanned her worrying, in spite of himself.

“Just leave me alone,” another tear ran down her face.

He grew frustrated.

“Rey just tell me what is wrong.”

She snapped.

“I’m sick!” her voice raised taking him aback.

“Sick?” he raised an eyebrow in confusion. Knowing Rey, it would not be something trifling, his concern grew.

“Yes sick,” she stated again.

She was clearly upset and he found that he wanted to comfort her, even now, after everything.

“Surely you’ve been to a medic?”

She shook her head, her eyes downcast.

“I can’t, I can’t tell them.”

“Why ever not?”

She was not making any sense. She seemed to hesitate for a moment but something in his expression reached through to her. She could see a warm emotion in his eyes. Slowly she pushed the bed cover away from herself. His eyes widened in shock at the crimson blood that had soaked the blankets and her bottoms.

“I can’t tell them about this,” she cried. “It is because of what we did, what we did together isn’t it?”

She looked at him so earnestly with her hazel eyes, he felt a twinge in his chest. It dawned on him what was wrong with her and relief flooded through him. He almost smiled but did not want to upset her further.

“Rey, you’re not sick.”

She scowled him at him in puzzlement, before looking down at the scarlet sheets.

“Of course I’m sick,” she grew agitated at him. “Are you blind?”

Kylo placed a hand gently on her arm, at first, she flinched until the warmth of his skin radiated through her.

“What’s happening to you…it’s…well…it’s normal.”

He suddenly felt very warm and embarrassed. It should not be him explaining this to her. He was puzzled as to why she had not experienced this before. Then he remembered her memories that he had seen when he had invaded her mind. Permanently hungry, always hunting for scraps, most of her life malnourished. No mother or friend to tell her about this. Sadness, her sadness swamped him. Slowly he tried to explain the best he could what was happening to her. His awkward stammering made him blush but she understood him. He sensed her begin to relax, relief and some confusion echo from her.

“Every month?” she queried.

He nodded, looking down.

“Huh, well that’s inconvenient.”

“Yes, Id imagine that it would be,” he said quietly. “Do you have any female friends where you are?”

Rey nodded.

“Go and talk to them, they’ll show you what to do.”

His hands twisted awkwardly in his lap.

“Your medic will probably give you something for the pain.”

The room fell silent again.

“I should clean up,” said Rey finally, he could detect embarrassment in her voice.

“There’s no need to be embarrassed,” his voice was soft and reassuring.

They looked at each other, as a warm light filled them both, and a peace or at least a stalemate settled between them. Rey could feel herself slowly reach out to him with her hand but he faded from the room, he had closed the bond.


	7. Belonging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Supreme Leader Kylo Ren is haunted by terrible dreams and Rey hears his call for help.

He felt it again, that cold, painful presence burrowing itself into his mind. It was as though a dark shadow twisted and spread through him, latching on to everything that he was. A sickness, drowning him in darkness. His head split with a cracking pain, contracting and squeezing. Everywhere was dark, not the normal darkness of night, but the darkness of a vast nothingness. He was trapped, alone.

“Master of the Knights of Ren,” a hoarse voice echoed in and around him.

Its tone was mocking and cruel. At the sound, every muscle in his body tensed, cold sweat dampened his skin.

“Weak foolish boy.”

Snoke.

‘No, you’re dead, I killed you.’

There was that hollow laugh, full of cruelty that had haunted him for years.

“Pathetic, I cannot be beaten.”

Kylo knew what was coming, the punishment that always came when he failed Snoke. The air crackled and hummed with electricity, bolts of blue forked across the dark. Excruciating pain flooded his body, terrible yet so familiar. He tried to reach out to steady himself, but there was nothing. Another wave of pain wracked his body. The smell of burning reached his nose, seared flesh, his flesh. His gritted teeth turned into a scream.

−

Rey lay on her bed aboard the Falcon, head resting in her arms that were crossed behind her head. She ached all over after spending the day with Rose. They had been busy repairing and modifying the few Resistance vessels that they had. They needed everything they had, nothing could go to waste. Rose’s engineering skills and Rey’s savvy for repairing things worked hand in hand. They were swiftly becoming known as a duo to be reckoned with. Tired as she was however, sleep as always evaded her. She considered another attempt at fixing the lightsabre, but knew it would not assist her temper, or calm her down.

Sighing she flopped over on to her side, turning the pillows as she did so. Her breath caught as she felt that all familiar tugging at her senses. It had been a couple of weeks since the bond had opened. Both of their walls had seemed to be firmly in place. Both had been trying to ignore each other when that familiar pull had touched them. She should ignore him now, shut him out, but something broke through to her, pain and fear. She opened her senses and reached out, feeling taken aback at what she experienced. Kylo appeared in bed next to her, but he was not conscious. He was in a deep sleep, experiencing some kind of nightmare. His body thrashed and spasmed in the bed, as he cried out in anguish.

Rey could not help herself; she could not leave him like this. She placed a hand gently upon his chest that was soaked with sweat. Closing her eyes, she reached into him, into his thoughts. She flinched at the agony she felt within him, the fear that ravaged Kylo’s mind. She had thought that she had experienced night terrors, but this was something else entirely. An icy cold crept through into her very blood. She felt the force within her, focused on it, visualised it as a glowing light. Effervescent and warming, she pushed it out to him. It reached around him, through him.

“Kylo,” she whispered. “Ben.”

He just wanted it to end.

“Please stop,” he begged.

He could not get up, his whole body felt like stone. His lungs were crushed beneath a heavy invisible force of malice.

“Ben!” The voice was faint and distant, but he knew that it was her.

Was it really her, or was the dream merely taunting him with an angel of salvation?

“Ben,” the voice had grown louder, it was nearer, she was nearer.

A soothing warmth crept into his chest, flowing outwards. It spread through his body, drowning out the pain. He felt his body relax, the pain in his head lessen, his breathing began to slow. A hand shook his arm gently.

Slowly opening his eyes, he found Rey sitting next to him on the bed. Her face was painted with worry. Her eyes were crinkled the way they always did, whenever she was angry or upset. Staring up at her with relief, she suddenly looked and felt awkward.

“You were having a bad dream,” she stated bluntly, as a way of explanation for her presence.

“Did I wake you?” he asked pushing himself up to a seated position.

She could detect no sarcasm in his tone.

“No.”

Kylo just nodded and leant back, wiping the sweat from his brow. Her eyes skimmed over his pale bare torso; the muscles shone with sweat. His damp long hair clung to his face in patches. She noticed his hands shaking as he held on to the blanket, pushing it away from himself. He saw her looking, but he held her gaze.

“Does it happen often?” she asked quietly. “Those dreams.”

He nodded.

“I thought once Snoke was gone,they would stop,” his low deep voice was soft. “Instead they've got worse.”

He looked at her with dark, shadowed eyes, full of an emotion she could not place. She felt a pull to him, always that pull linking her to him.

“I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry, you don’t cause them.”

Her eyes flashed at him.

“I’m sorry that you suffer, it should be obvious!”

“Why do you care if I suffer?”

He could not help the bitterness in his voice, in his expression. He was tired, worn and drained.

“I’m not even going to justify that with an answer.”

She angrily crossed her arms and glared at him. He could not stop a small smirk play upon his lips; she was so fired up all of the time. That probably explained a lot of the passion in bed. His thoughts automatically dwelt upon the image of her naked, writhing beneath him. She must have sensed his emotions for she began to blush, scowling at him even more.

“Stop that.”

“I’m not doing anything!” he retorted, the hint of the smirk still there.

“You know you are,” she huffed, trying to ignore the fact that she dwelt on the same things as he did.

“Don’t deny that you felt it too,” his voice had shifted back to a more serious timbre.

She glared at him again, trying to put her defensive wall back up. It was too easy to let it drop when she was around him. He could tell that she was going to leave. Trying to hide his panic, he shot a hand out, holding her wrist. It was firm but gentle enough for her to break free if she wished.

“Please,” he pleaded.

The same tone and look he had given her in Snoke’s throne room.

“Stay for just a few moments.”

Snoke would have told him that he was weak, clinging on to her, needy and wanting. He should cut all ties, but he couldn’t. They both knew that they were linked forever, one way or another. She stared at him for a moment, her muscles began to relax. She said nothing, but nodded in reply. He felt his insides relax with relief. He expected nothing from her, he just wanted her presence. For a moment he could forget the voice in his head, drown out the nightmares.

He lay his head back against the wall, Rey stayed cross legged at his side. She plucked absent mindedly at the leather strap on her wrist. A few moments of quiet passed between them.

“How much control do you think we have, over these moments?” Rey broke the silence.

Arm propped up by her knee, head resting on her hand, she examined him with her hazel eyes. Her face open and curious. Kylo felt a flutter in his stomach as he looked at her.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, are we the ones that open the connection, close it, whether subconsciously or not?”

He ran his hand mindlessly through his hair, off his face.

“I’ve thought about it a lot, and honestly I’m not entirely sure.”

“Maybe it’s a little of both?”

She chewed her nail as she stared into space, lost in thought.

“Well, there’s one way to find out for sure,” Kylo stated.

“Oh?”

“We test it,” he explained. “Sort of an experiment.”

“Go on…”

Kylo sat up straight, the academic in him getting excited. Rey felt a faint flutter in her stomach as she watched his face light up.

“Tomorrow, we choose a time, and one of us opens the bond. See if we can control it.”

“Okay, sounds simple enough.”

“I will try,” he said. “Okay, let’s say sixteen hours from now.”

“Okay.”

He was about to say something when she got there first.

“I meant to say…thank you…for the other day.”

Her voice was soft and tender, gave him more hope than he desired.

“It was nothing.”

The air between them grew thick and heavy.

“It was to me.”

Their eyes linked back to each other for just a second, their unspoken need in their expression. Then Rey was gone, and Kylo was alone once more.

−

Rey had a pressing headache all day, putting it down to the ongoing lack of sleep. Sighing she wiped her brow, placing the hyper spanner down. Normally fixing things cleared her mind but today it was failing. She would not however, admit to herself that it was her upcoming ‘meeting’ with Kylo. Looking at the Resistance members around her she could not help but feel guilty. If they knew her, really knew her they would despise her.

“Rey!”

Leia’s voice broke her guilty reverie. Fixing a smile on her face, she turned from the land speeder she had been working on, to face the General.

“General.”

Leia took Rey’s hands in hers, examined her face with dark eyes. Her face frowned with worry.

“Are you okay? You look tired.”

Rey shrugged it off.

“Oh, I’m fine, just a little trouble sleeping.”

Leia’s eyes scrutinised her. Rey smiled back nervously.

“You know that you can tell me if anything is bothering you.”

Leia was sincere, Rey knew that. Her eyes were so earnest for a moment, that Rey almost caved, told her everything. She could not do that though, could not give Leia any reason to hope. She did not want her to suffer anymore.

“Just a headache, that’s all,” Rey explained. “Kept me awake.”

Leia did not look completely convinced, but did not push it.

“Well if you are up to it, I have a mission for you.”

“Of course.” Rey was intrigued, maybe it would do her good to get away from camp for a few days.

“I want you to accompany me to Naboo,” Leia stated.

“Naboo?” “It’s a planet in the Chommell Sector, I hope to find allies there,” Leia explained.

Leia wore a curious expression on her face, one Rey could not understand.

“We leave in the morning.” Rey nodded.

Leia looked as though she would say more but decided against it. Squeezing Rey’s hands one last time she walked away.

Night had fallen upon the planet and the forests of Takodana had cooled. After the years on Jakku, she always found the nights away from the planet cold. She sat in her room back on the Falcon, with a blanket wrapped around her, waiting nervously. Dressed in her sleep wear, hair loose down her back, she sat perched on the edge of the bed. It was time, but so far, nothing. She sighed as her glance fell upon the broken light sabre parts on the table. She really should get around to fixing that. Energy throbbed through her and the familiar hum of the bond surrounded her. He was there. Kylo sat in front of her cross legged on the floor, dressed in his nightwear. She could not help but smile down at him. Her smile had an effect on him that he could not ignore.

“It worked,” she grinned.

Kylo nodded.

“With opening the bond at least.”

He stayed on the floor; Rey could not help but wish that he was sat next to her. She had the urge to run her hands through his hair, run her fingertips along the scar she’d given him. She felt the familiar tingle between her legs at the sight of his muscular arms and broad frame.

“Now what?” she asked, trying to dismiss her heated thoughts.

“Well, we know we can open the bond at will, we’ve both done it,” he explained. “I want to know if we can control it, like does the bond only close when we want it to.”

“So, are you saying, lets see how long it stays open without us closing it?”

“Something like that.”

Rey nodded.

“You may as well get comfortable,” Rey spoke quietly. “Why don’t you sit up here?”

The look he gave her was heady and piercing.

“Sit? Is that all you want me to do?”

He was pushing her he knew, but he wanted to know. Was her desire tearing her apart from the inside, as it was him? Did she feel empty without him in her arms? Did her skin burn for his touch? It had been weeks, too many.

She said nothing but stood slowly, keeping her eyes fixed on him. His dark eyes glowed like embers when she pulled her top over her head. Standing bare breasted before him, her face almost defiant, he thought she looked like some primeval goddess. A goddess of light, love and desire. His arousal strained against his bottoms as his eyes worked appreciatively over her.

“There’s no point in pretending that we both don’t want this,” said Rey, trying to keep her voice steady. “Given what’s happened already.”

Kylo stood, his large frame standing in front of her. He pulled his shirt over his head, tousling his ebony hair as he did so. That longed for heat, pooled between her legs, as she fed her eyes upon the smooth hard muscles of his torso. A dark Prince, a God of War, a warrior. Her soft woven trousers fell to the floor, she shivered as his gaze worked its way down her body. Both of them reached out within the force, feeling each other’s desire humming with life. There was no light, no dark, only the two of them.

She took a step toward him, but he held out his hand and threw her gently backwards with the force. She landed on to the bed on her back, gasping in surprise. Standing at the foot of the bed, he looked down hungrily at her. He wanted her to scream his name, to cry out in pleasure, torturous pleasure that only he could give her, that only he would give her.

“What the…”

Rey pushed herself up on her forearms but he pushed her back down. Reaching out again he pushed gently into her mind, showing her his desire. Showing her how much he wanted her, how much he wanted to pleasure her. She mewled softly. He stretched her arms behind her head with the force. She automatically stretched her body, basking under his intense gaze.

Using his other hand, he reached out, creating a gentle tickling sensation on her neck. She squirmed and smiled as the sensation, a sensation like the caress of a gentle breeze; it travelled down to her breasts. Small,pert and white in comparison to her tanned body. He wanted to kiss them, lick them, knead them with his fingers, but instead he used the energy of the force to press on them. He squeezed and tightened the nipples simultaneously. He pulsed the feeling, changing the pressure, watching them harden under the feeling. In her mind he could feel the anticipation in her building, the kick she was getting from him watching her. Aroused by him controlling her and pleasuring her without touch.

He trailed the energy downwards to her stomach, causing a fluttering to build up. She ached between her legs and throbbed with need, willing him to take her, fill her. Sensing her craving he skimmed lightly over the tops of her thighs, avoiding where she wanted him the most. She cried out in frustration, trying to touch herself but he kept her arms locked above her head. He forced her legs apart with the force and felt a wave of excitement roll over her. Her legs were open to him, glistening with moisture, ready for him. He almost caved there and then. Not yet. He spread the touch up along both of her thighs, increasing the pressure, sending out vibrations nearer to her core. As the energy reached the apex of her thighs, he pulled away and started again. She groaned into her arms in vexation. He did this over and over until Rey thought that she would die, die of a need not met. He enjoyed watching her struggle and writhe beneath his power. Last time he had been brutal and she had met him, matched him, but now he wanted to take his time, give her everything.

“Please,” she finally cried. “Please Ben.”

He did not correct the use of his name this time. He almost like it on her lips. When she said it, it did not carry the weight of heroes long gone, of legends from the past. It was Ben, just Ben.

With his arousal becoming painful he bought his focus back to Rey. He directed the energy right to her centre, making her call out. She threw her head back, her eyes closed. Using the force, he sent vibrations through her molten heat, to her entire body. He gradually increased the intensity and the pace, getting faster and faster. Her whole body pulsated with his power, every part of her felt highly sensitised, as though attached to a live wire. Their minds connected, he could feel her pleasure, she could feel his desire and control. It skyrocketed her feelings further until she began to fall apart. Sensing her end, he quickened the pace, making her whole body spasm. Her back arched upwards and she cried out his name. She shuddered all over as he watched, her pleasure rolling through her in waves.

He released his hold of her and let her arms drop. She lay there panting and out of breath, her tanned, freckled skin was flushed and warm. She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at him under heavy lids. Unlike the first time, she did not try to cover up, she let his eyes wander over her body. He could feel her enjoying it, wanting him to look, to take all of her in. She let her eyes skim longingly down his body, caressing him with her eyes.He looked as though he were carved from Nemoidian marble, smooth and sculpted. He pulled his bottoms down and stood completely exposed to her, his erection jutting out. She felt another rush of warmth between her legs, she wanted him, he could feel it. She could not deny it. She began to doubt that she would ever stop wanting him. She knew that she played with fire, but right now she wanted to burn.

Unable to hold on any longer, Kylo crawled up the bed until he rested over Rey. Skin against skin, limbs entangled with limbs. She reached up and stroked his face, tracing his cheekbone with her fingers, his soft lips with her thumb. As she cupped his face in her hand, he leaned into it, dying for her touch. She loved the feeling of his weight upon hers, it was warm and comforting, she felt…secure. She shifted her hand into his hair as he gently lowered his lips on to hers. His kiss was tender but she could feel the heat behind it. She felt lost when his lips left hers and reached for them again. Looking up in to his dark eyes, eyes that gazed at he with so much emotion and warmth, words fell from her mouth.

“I wish you were really here with me,” she said without thinking.

She instantly regretted it; she should not be saying things like that. Not to the enemy. She bit her lip in frustration. His eyes opened a little wider in surprise. He held her face, the warmth of his skin soothed and calmed her.

“Me too.”

He kissed her again, deeper and with more urgency.

She wrapped her arms around his neck as he nudged her legs open. Oh, so slowly he entered her. She wished she could stretch that sensation out for ever, never ending, filling a thousand moments. Buried in her he paused for a moment, his brow slightly creased, as a small gasp left his lips. He felt so safe inside of her, he belonged with her, he did not want to pull out again, she was his home. He took her slowly, savouring every moment, every touch, every shiver, every gasp. It terrified him that any moment with her, could be their last. Minds and bodies joined, every feeling and sensation was amplified. Their movements became synchronised and Rey could not tell where she ended and he began, they were as one. Rey clung to him, willing him to be with her. She wished that she could pull him through the stars to where she was, safe with her. She could feel that he was close, his nerves firing inside of her, his need for her electric.

“Come for me Ben,” she whispered into his ear. “Come for me.”

He thrust into her twice more, long hard thrusts. His whole body tensed, as pleasure tore through his muscles. His forehead pressed against hers as a strangled cry left him, almost a sob. She felt his warm essence spill into her as he shuddered again. He collapsed onto her, resting his head between her breasts, his body still shaking. He took a deep shaky breath trying to steady himself, the warmth of which caressed Rey’s skin. She could still feel him shaking gently and felt moisture on her chest. He was crying softly.

“Ben?”

He said nothing but tightened his arms around her, his sobs becoming more intense. He was so lost, so scared, in so much pain. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him to her. She stroked his hair softly and reached out to him, letting her feelings comfort him. It was not long before his breathing had slowed, becoming deep and regular. He was asleep. She smiled so herself, knowing that he would rest now. Unaware of how long she lay like that, Rey too drifted off into a peaceful slumber. Something had changed that night, an unspoken shift in their relationship, the tremors of which rippled out across the galaxy.


	8. Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey travels with Leia to Naboo where the shadows of the past are ever present. Ben and Rey experience a shift in their relationship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who is still with me on this story, this journey. I appreciate all of your comments and kudos. Its been a great encouragement.   
> Apologies for the delay in posting this chapter, the last few weeks have been difficult. Next chapter should be done shortly. :-)

For the first time in a long time, Rey and Kylo slept well. The dark dreams and lonely shadows, did not haunt them that night. Kylo awoke first as his alarm reverberated around him, shrill and necessary. The alarm silenced at his muffled voice command from under his blanket. He automatically reached out to hold Rey, but she was not there. The bond had closed down in their sleep. Closed down but not shut out. He stretched out sleepily with the force and could feel her, far away, still sleeping. She was at peace; he could feel her sense of belonging, belonging with him. The thought at once made his heart swell with emotion. Yet he could not ignore the trace of bitterness that came with it. He belonged with her, he knew that, but he also belonged to the dark and she to the light. They were enemies at war, separated by a battle older than both of them, but joined in soul. He felt angry at the galaxy, at the force for positioning them like this. This could only go one way, he had to make her see that.

−

Rey slowly reached across the bed, searching for that warm presence that had been there all night.

“Ben?” she murmured languidly.

Her arm slid across the cool sheets; he was gone. Sighing, she rolled over to lie on her back, looking up at the old ceiling. The bed felt empty, she felt cold again. Lying in his arms last night she had actually slept well. The usual dreams, aching loneliness and crippling fear were not there. Instead she had just felt warmth and belonging.

‘This is impossible.’

They were enemies, Kylo Ren was an enemy. Ben Solo however, was not. Ben Solo that stayed with her all night, Ben Solo that had reassured her when she had needed it the most, had cried in her arms. Ben Solo that made love to her, made her heart and feelings ignite like a blazing star. Despite the mask and persona of Kylo Ren that he tried to project and used to cover his heart. It was Ben Solo who could come back to them, back to her. He had to see that for himself.

−

Rey was the last to board the civilian craft, the Night Hawk, a Star Runner class ship. Chewie, Leia and Poe were already onboard awaiting her. She ran up the ramp, her bag swinging on her shoulders and dark grey cape fluttering behind her. The ramp closed slowly with a judder and a hiss behind her. Placing her bag on the floor she entered the cockpit, trying not to look harried. Poe sitting in the pilot’s seat gave her a wry look.

“Oversleep?”

Rey sighed and rolled her eyes, strapping herself into the seat next to Leia.

“Sorry.”

Poe just chuckled to himself as he began initiating the take-off sequence with Chewie. Leia looked over from her seat at Rey.

“You look rested,” she commented, placing her hand on Rey’s arm. “Are you feeling better?”

Rey felt that small, sharp twinge of guilt that she felt whenever she spoke to Leia. She pasted on a smile trying to bury her feelings deep down.

“Yes, thank you.”

Leia gave Rey a curious look, trying to read the young woman’s expression. Something had changed, she perceived strong, complicated emotions storming inside Rey. She said nothing. The Hawk took off from the rebel base, rising above the green forests of Takodana, the large lake glittering in the warm early light. Leaving the lush planet’s atmosphere, Poe input the co-ordinates to Naboo, the ship whirring and beeping in response.

“Okay Chewie, punch it.”

Chewie growled loudly, pushed the various controls and before they knew it the ship jumped to lightspeed. Rey always enjoyed that initial burst as the engines thrust them across the galaxy. The stars blurred past them in a flash of blue as they shot forward.

“It’s no Falcon but this thing could give it some serious competition,” observed Poe.

Chewie roared in reply, making Poe laugh.

“Okay buddy, I take it back.”

Rey smiling at her two companions, sat back in her chair and breathed out, letting the hum of the ship wash over her. Despite the speed that they were travelling, Rey always found lightspeed travel peaceful. Shooting across the stars, like a comet.

Rey lost track of time when the ship lurched out of hyperspace. She opened her eyes and peered around Chewie’s seat, taking in the planet below them. She could see vast oceans, craggy snow-capped mountains, large patches of green with white wispy clouds swirling above them.

“It’s beautiful,” Rey whispered.

“Yes, yes, it is.”

Rey turned at the older woman’s murmurs, curious at Leia’s expression. It looked sad, melancholy and her eyes looked glazed over. Poe and Chewie guided the ship down through the atmosphere and above the city of Theed. The ship glided over the marble and stone rounded rooftops that were gilt in green and bronze. They sped over a large round, domed building that sat on the edge of a vast cliff.

“That’s the palace,” Leia said quietly.

Poe hovered over the shipping dock, bustling with travellers.

“This the place?” Poe asked.

“Yes.”

He gently put the ship down amidst the other civilian ships, settling with a low thud.

The four companions exited the ship and into the port. Leia pulled the hood of her cape up over her head not wanting to draw attention to herself.

“It’s not far,” she said.

The group were soon lost in the crowd.

−

Kylo marched down the stark grey corridor aboard the Finalizer, his heavy footsteps echoing loudly. Troopers stood to attention as he passed, nervous and weary. Their new Supreme Leader was not known for being a patient man and today he looked positively thunderous. The automatic doors opened for him into the meeting room, various troopers and Generals awaited him, Hux among them. He paused and stared when he saw that Hux was occupying the head chair. Hux held his glare for a moment before standing.

“Apologies Supreme Leader, we were not sure if you’d be attending.”

Kylo said nothing, but walked to the chair that was now his. Sitting down, his silence made Hux even more nervous. Kylo could feel it, he did not even have to reach out with the force. He could have smiled inside.

“What is the latest?” he asked finally, his tone firm and demanding.

Hux cleared his throat.

“There has been no sign of the Resistance thus far, aside from the skirmish on Felucia,” he stated, staring at Kylo with his cold blue eyes. “Though it was reported that Snoke’s murderer was among them.”

Kylo flinched internally at the mention of Rey, he could feel Hux analysing him. As he looked up keeping his expression cold and neutral, Hux looked away.

“We were wondering perhaps Sir, if you yourself had any leads?”

“Oh?”

“With your abilities we feel as though you would be best equipped at finding the girl.”

His body tensed, for he knew why Hux was asking. He had asked him the same question on more than one occasion. Now however, he was questioning him in front of the Leaders of the First Order.

“Are you doubting my ability and desire Hux, to find the traitor and her rebel friends?”

He kept his voice low and dangerous, Hux immediately reading the unspoken threat within.

“Do you not think, that I am doing everything in my power, to bring the scum that slayed our Master to justice?”

The lie did not sit well on his tongue but he had to be convincing, they could not see his weakness. He fixed his eyes upon Hux, who felt as though he had pushed too far. He reminded himself to be patient.

“Of course not Sir, we are all just eager for the girl to meet with our swift justice.”

Kylo said nothing, but carried on holding Hux’s gaze, still and impassive. Inside he was seething at the thought of one of them harming Rey.

“Speaking of which Sir, a bounty has been issued for the girl,” said Hux, his voice barely containing the glee he felt. “One hundred thousand galactic credits for her alive. We thought that the generous incentive might yield more fruitful results.”

Kylo felt his heart begin to race and his palms sweat. He should have known that this would be a consequence of his lie.

“Excellent,” he said simply.

“We knew that you would be pleased,” Hux replied, his voice reflecting the sly smile on his face.

Hux searched Kylo’s face for any sign of emotion, but he merely stared back. Hux almost missed the mask, Kylo’s face was much more unnerving.

“We do have several reports of Resistance Fighters attempting to recruit on several of the mid rim systems,” stated Captain Athrop, a hard-faced man in his fifties.

The Captain could sense the tension in the air.

“There has also been a supply raid on Coruscant.”

“Bold move,” commented Hux with his usual snide tone.

“Or desperate,” Kylo countered. “What has been done about it?”

“We have sent out a number of units to investigate further. I expect reports shortly Sir.”

Kylo nodded, glad that the subject matter had diverted from Rey. The room fell quiet for a moment, tense as these meetings always were.

“We are expecting a fresh crop of children from the outer rim in the next few weeks, ready for conditioning,” Hux broke the silence.

“Is that really necessary?” Admiral Havers questioned, an older woman who had progressed in the ranks, when a number of officers were killed during the attack on Snoke’s ship.

Several eyebrows raised at her question, including Kylo’s. She instantly recognised her mistake, Kylo could feel her nerves but also her guilt and injustice at the acquisition of children. It was one of the areas of the First Order that Kylo had always turned a blind eye too, but now for some reason it bothered him, like an itch beneath the skin.

“What I meant was, surely we would have better results with soldiers who recruited willingly?” the Admiral tried to back pedal her questioning.

Kylo let it slide but he would remember her in the future. Several other officers around the table gazed at her with narrow judgemental eyes, while others looked at her in veiled sympathy. He decided to diffuse the situation, it was something that could be dealt with at another date.

“That will be all for now!” he commanded standing suddenly.

The Supreme Leader had spoken, the meeting was over.

−

Leia led them down a stone lined street, not far from the ship’s dock. The pale stones were bathed in golden sunlight as Theed Palace stood proudly in the distance. It didn’t tower over the city but grew from it, its shadow reassuring not oppressive. Leia looked a little nervous as she approached a stair well cut into the side of a building. The stairs were lined with flowers, filling the air with their scent.

“Where are we?” Rey whispered over to Poe.

“I can hear you Rey,” Leia spoke up as she pressed the buzzer. “We are visiting my family.”

Rey shot Poe a puzzled look, but before he could say anything, the door had opened. An older woman with pure white hair braided into buns appeared.

“Leia!”

“Pooja!”

The two kinswomen embraced warmly; Rey could feel the familial bond between them, connecting them.

Pooja ushered her visitors inside and closed the door. Rey took in the house, the house that was much bigger than she had expected from the entrance that they had used. Warm colours painted the walls that were covered in eclectic artwork and holopics, soft furnishings and textiles added to the warm cocoon. Rey had never been in a home like it, her repurposed AT AT was a far cry from this, and the Resistance base and ships were more functional than homely.

“Pooja, this is Rey, Rey this is my cousin Pooja Naberrie.”

Poe and Chewie already seemed to know the older woman.

“Rey, I am so pleased to meet you,” Pooja took Rey’s hands in hers, smiling warmly at her, the lines crinkling around her eyes.

Rey nodded politely, still surprised that Leia had family. She had always assumed that Luke, Han and Ben had been all of her remaining family. Pooja ushered her visitors into a light and airy sitting room.

“Make yourself comfortable,” she gestured for them to sit in the spacious living room off the hallway. “I’m going to get us some refreshments.”

She glided from the room; her dark green velvet skirts swished around her feet as she moved. Like Leia, she was elegant and graceful, but had a look of steel in her eyes.

Rey walked over to one of the large windows, looking down upon a large spacious garden. She smiled at the green grass, the trickling fountain and the trees foliage rustling in the breeze.

“It’s beautiful here,” she murmured.

She walked around the room exploring her surroundings further. A holopic caught her eye in the centre of the room above the fireplace. It was a young woman who looked to be about her age. She was slim and beautiful with delicate features, light brown hair and hazel eyes. She looked down at Rey smiling, her eyes bright and inquisitive. Something about her eyes were familiar, speaking to her. She did not hear Leia approach from behind.

“My mother,” she said quietly.

Rey’s eyes widened in surprise at the revelation. Leia’s mother, Ben’s grandmother, the woman who had married Anakin Skyalker, no Darth Vader. She was not what she had expected. She looked at Leia whose face was sad, her eyes moist.

“I never knew her,” she said. “She died giving birth to Luke and I. My father broke her heart.”

Her voice contained traces of bitterness amongst the grief.

“Anakin Skywalker?”

Leia nodded; her eyes still fixed on the holo pic.

“He was, before he became Darth Vader.”

Her voice was clipped, tense. She had known that Luke had bought him back to the light, saved his soul. Yet, she could still feel the resentment that Leia still felt towards her father.

“I wonder if she still loved him at the end,” Leia said softly. “Did she still have hope that he would come back to her, never giving up on the light within him?”

Rey automatically thought of Ben, of all the light and love she knew he tried to bury. Was it too late for him, for them? She scolded herself, how could there be a them?

“This is why I cannot give up on my son.”

Rey could feel the pain and guilt reverberating through Leia.

“It’s my fault,” she whispered. “I shouldn’t have sent him away; I should have been there for him.”

Rey became alarmed at Leia’s apparent distress. The General had gone very pale, her eyes were shut and she suddenly seemed very unsteady. Rey grabbed her arm as Leia reached for the fireplace in front of her.

“Leia!”

Poe and Chewie rushed over from the other side of the room.

“I’m…I’m not feeling…”

Pooja came in carrying a tray of refreshments, becoming instantly concerned.

“Leia’s not well,” said Poe, his face painted with worry.

“I just need to rest,” murmured Leia, getting annoyed at the fuss everyone was making of her.

“Take her to the guest room I’ve prepared for her,” said Pooja placing the tray down. “Top of the stairs, second to the right.”

Chewie gently picked Leia up despite her protestations and carried her from the room.

“She’s been pushing herself too much,” Poe muttered, taking a drink from the table.

“She’s not changed then,” said Pooja good naturedly.

Rey sat next to Poe on the sofa, feeling slightly out of place in her surroundings.

“How long have you known Leia?” she asked their hostess.

“Ever since I served on the Imperial Senate with her,” she replied. “Leia was just a girl then. We did not even know we were family at the time.”

Pooja handed Rey a Charindrian tart, thinking to herself that the girl needed feeding.

“Did you ever meet Leia’s father, her real father?”

Rey could not help but ask, she wanted to know. She wanted to understand, maybe it could help her understand…Ben. Pooja’s face clouded over for a moment, her mind flashing back to memories long ago. She nodded slowly.

“I did not know that it was him until much more recently. So many secrets from that time, truths buried and forgotten.”

Rey took a bite of the tart, chewing the sweet crumbling pastry, buttery and light in her mouth.

“What was he like?”

Pooja’s face brightened a little, she smiled.

“He visited her once, he had been assigned to protect my Aunt,” she explained. “I was only a child but he was very handsome, a dashing Jedi Knight, like a storybook hero.”

She laughed at the memory.

“He was kind, he made my sister Reyoo and I laugh.”

“Weren’t Jedi forbidden to form attachments or have relationships?” Poe asked, as much invested in the story as Rey.

“Yes, their code forbade it,” Pooja explained. “Obviously I would not have understood any of that as a child. I do remember one thing though…he looked at my Aunt as though she were the only precious thing in all the galaxy.”

The sadness had returned and nobody spoke for a moment. Pooja sighed and stood up.

“I am going to check on Leia, please eat up.”

She left the room in a flash of green.

Poe and Rey sat in companionable silence for a moment, mulling over what they had heard.

“It couldn’t have been easy for them,” Poe mused, reaching for a bright purple piece of fruit.

“Hmmm?”

“Anakin and Padme, forbidden lovers and all that, in a middle of a war.”

Rey felt herself getting warm, her heart rate rising.

“No, I imagine it wouldn’t have been.”

“Are you okay?” he asked her, watching her carefully.

She avoided his eyes.

“Yes…I’m just a little warm…” she replied, brushing crumbs from her trousers. “I just need a little air; I’m going to walk in the garden.”

Poe watched in surprise as she abruptly got up and left the room. His expression was one of curiosity for he could always tell when someone was keeping a secret; and Rey definitely was.

−

Kylo ducked as Ushar drove his vibro war club down upon his location. He force pushed him away and deflected Ap’lek’s vibro ax. Kylo did not train with the Knights of Ren often, but when he did, he was reminded of their ferocity and aggression. Ap’lek swung his weapon again but Kylo blocked it before kicking him violently across the floor. The three other Knights laughed as they watched lazily from the side lines. Kylo braced himself for another parry when a feeling of despair rushed through him. It was not his despair, the force was connecting him, it was not Rey’s despair either, it was his mother. He could feel her, something was wrong. He felt shaken and disorientated. He had not felt her presence since his men had blown up the bridge, she had been on fleeing the First Order. He collapsed to his knees, holding out his hand to his sparring partners. They were watching him carefully.

“Leave me!” he ordered.

They looked at each other, trying to read their leader. He lost his patience, feeling their scrutiny.

“Now!”

Saying nothing, they left.

Kylo’s heart was racing at the way the force was connecting him. He could feel his mother reaching out, but she seemed unaware, as though she were dreaming. He could imagine Snoke telling him to ignore her, kill her. No. He was his own master now. He felt light headed and weak. A pulse of light rippled through him and was gone. His mother’s presence had left him once more. He tried to steady himself with his breathing, reached out again to the force. He needed her.

“Rey?” he whispered.

−

Rey sat on a bench in the Naberrie, garden under the shade of a huge tree. She did not know what it was called, but its leaves were large and green; its bark was knotted and the colour of golden ale. She let the warm breeze dance over her skin leaning her head back with her eyes closed.

‘Breathe, just breathe.’

Luke’s words echoed in her mind as she tried to steady herself, centring herself in the vastness of an infinite galaxy. Her muscles began to relax and her mind eased.

She slowly opened her eyes and looked up at the windows of the house, windows lined in pale stone. The glass panes reflected the sun’s rays and glared back at her. Her thoughts went to Leia. She had felt her pain, guilt, distress but also her weakness. She had not been the same since the attack on the Raddus, it had weakened her immensely. Things were changing, she could feel it. Something bigger and greater than her was at work. She felt lost, confused, restless. She could deny it all she wanted, but last night had shown her how much she had wanted Ben; how much she needed Ben. As if she had summoned him with her thoughts, she felt that all familiar pull through her energy, her surroundings had gone silent. He was there in front of her, knelt upon the floor. He looked as though he had been exerting himself; his damp hair clung to his face and sweat trickled down his chest, soaking his black vest.

“Ben.”

He looked up at her, with those eyes that shouted to anyone that cared, of his pain, his torture and his strength.

“I …I felt my mother.”

His voice was quiet, but she could sense the concern in him. Concern that he was fighting, concern that he felt was a weakness.

“She’s not well,” Rey said, answering his unspoken question. “She’s resting now.”

“I felt her pain, her guilt,” he said, as though unsure. “Guilt?”

He almost spat the last word out, his bitterness bleeding across their connection. Rey shot to a standing position, her temper stoked and her feelings ignited. Her body was tense and her fists clenched.

“Guilt over you!” she snapped.

He flinched at her tone but held her stare.

“Guilty that she let you go, that she put politics first,” Rey shouted. “Guilty that she didn’t do more, that she wasn’t there for you.”

Tears slid down Rey’s cheek slowly, glistening in the sunlight.

“She loves you,” Rey’s voice choked on her unshed tears. “Just like Han did.”

She felt those words bore into him like a hot knife, deep and twisting. His eyes betray the wound inside.

As he looked up at her, it seemed as though she wanted to say something more, but she doesn’t. The energy coursing through her dissipated and she collapsed back on to the bench exhausted and drained, her arms resting across her knees.

“I can’t do this anymore,” he whispered, that pleading look in his eyes again. “It’s killing me.”

She looked down and met his gaze and reads the question there, a question she is unsure of.

“I need you Rey, like you need me,” he continued, his voice breaking with emotion. “I know you do.”

She doesn’t say anything but looks back down at the floor, not trusting herself. He slowly and carefully reaches a hand out and places it over her right one. Waiting for her to reject it but she doesn’t and instead turns her hand over and interlaces her fingers with his.

“I can’t deny it anymore,” she whispered.

Neither said anything for a moment, both letting each other’s words sink in.

“Meet me with me,” Ben said suddenly, his voice full of hope and urgency.

“What?”

“I need to see you, be with you in person.”

He could sense immediately her hesitancy but also the desire to be with him.

“You know that I can’t,” Rey replied. “We’re at war, remember?”

Ben was silent for a moment, desperately trying to think if a way around it, or a way to convince her.

“Come home,” said Rey, trying equally as hard as he.

Ben sighed.

“You know that I can’t.”

“Both of us want something we can't have," Rey sighed and wiped her face with her hand.

“Meet me, meet me somewhere neutral,” Ben tried again. “I promise you; I will be alone; you won’t come to any harm. It will be just the two of us…together…please.”

Rey looked into his eyes and nodded, unaware that she was being watched.


	9. Forbidden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Kylo/Ben give in to their better judgement and meet up in secret. The pull they have to each other is too strong to ignore.

Rey walked back into the house, her heart racing at what she had just agreed to. She felt reckless, yet as though a weight had lifted slightly from her. Poe was still sat in the living room, Chewie now next to him. He stared at her when she walked in, making her feel strangely uncomfortable.

“How’s Leia?” she asked.

Poe’s expression was a little odd and worried Rey.

“Better.”

“Where’s Pooja?”

“Upstairs with Leia.”

“Okay, well I’m going to check on her.”

Poe said nothing, just nodding in confirmation as Chewie growled softly in response.

“Right…then…”

Rey backed out of the room and wandered down the hall to the stairs, looking at the holopics on the way. Ben’s family, smiling down back at her. With a sigh she ran up the smooth stone stairs, taking them two at a time, her hand gliding along the wooden carved bannister. At the top of the stairs she bumped into their hostess.

“I was just going to see Leia.”

Pooja nodded and let out a little half laugh.

“She said you would.”

Rey raised her brow quizzically, but the woman said no more, moved past Rey and headed back downstairs. Shrugging, Rey knocked gently on Leia’s door.

“Come in.”

The room was darkened from the drawn drapes, blocking out the sunlight. She entered, allowing the door to shut behind her.

“Rey.”

Leia sat up in bed, held out her hands for Rey to take, her voice warm and welcoming. Rey took them and gingerly sat on the edge of the bed.

“How are you feeling?”

Leia sighed and rolled her eyes.

“I’m just a little worn out that’s all, there’s no need for everyone to treat me like an invalid.”

Rey laughed.

“Well, you didn’t seem well.”

Leia’s expression fell, as though a veil of sadness had draped itself across her. Her fiery facade faded for a moment and the worn, tired look Rey had seen on her often lately, was in place.

“It’s…it’s this place. It’s full of memories, memories that aren’t mine but are still a part of me,” she explained wearily.

Rey squeezed her hand tighter, her compassion for the General was strong though only knowing her for a few months.

“You can feel it, can’t you?” Leia looked carefully at Rey.

Rey nodded.

“You’re special Rey, in a way I can’t quite yet understand. Just like…”

She stopped herself, Rey felt her pain instantaneously, a pain she could not comprehend. Pain and crushing guilt again.

“Ben.”

Leia looked up at her son’s name, her eyes looking so much like his. She nodded, studying Rey who could sense that she wanted to ask her something. She wanted to talk about Ben, but she couldn’t, not with Leia, not yet. Selfish though that may be, she did not feel ready. What would she say? Leia, I have a connection to your lost son, I have strong undeniable feelings for him, when we bond, we…

She swiftly changed the subject, desperately trying to sound unaffected. She could see the disappointment in Leia’s eyes.

“So, what's the plan now we are here?”

Rey was glad of the darkened room so that Leia could not see her blushing. Leia let it go…for now.

“My cousin has arranged an audience with Queen Sanjukta, the day after tomorrow.”

“Do you think that she will help?”

Leia leant her head back against the carved wooden head dress, closing her eyes momentarily.

“Honestly, I don’t know. She is recently elected, so it would be a bold move on her part to offer us support,” she explained. “However, she did win a lot of support over her promises to protect Naboo’s sovereignty, reading between the lines we can assume she meant against the First Order. I can only hope.”

Hope, was that what had gotten them this far? Is that what drove her connection with Ben, hope that he would return to them? Hope that he would come to her?

“Leia…”

Leia could instantly tell that Rey felt nervous about something; from the way she looked down, down to the slight tremor in her voice.

“I need to leave for a little while.”

“Leave?”

“I’ll be back before your audience with the Queen,” Rey blarted. “There’s just something that I have to do.”

Leia’s eyes narrowed.

“Is it something you can tell me?”

Rey squirmed under Leia’s question and searching gaze, but she could not do it.

“No, I can’t…I mean no I’m fine.”

“If you’re sure,” Leia said slowly. "You are free to come and go as you please, I can't stop you leaving." 

“Honestly, I’ll be back before you know it.”

Leia said nothing, just nodded. Rey squeezed her hand and got up from the bed.

“I’ll be back soon, I promise. Make sure you rest.”

She was half way out of the door when Leia called out to her, making her stop and turn.

“Rey…be careful.”

Rey paused, returned Leia’s gaze, simply nodded and left. Leia let out a heavy sigh as a tear began to fall, leaning her head back against the pillow.

−

Adrenaline pumped through Rey’s body as she jogged down the stairs. As soon as she had agreed to meet him, it was all that she could think of. An urgent need coursed through her, pulling her to him, despite the physical distance separating them. She grabbed her bag from the hallway and put her cloak on, more for anonymity than warmth. She decided it best to slip out unnoticed, avoiding any unnecessary questions. She tiptoed to the door that they had used to enter the home, pushing the required buttons on the control panel to open it. It opened with a soft whoosh on to the quiet street below. She cried out when a hand grabbed her from behind as she was half way through the door. Poe.

‘Dammit.’

“Where the hell are you sneaking off to?”

“I’m not sneaking anywhere.”

“Well then, where are you going?”

“Out. I have something to do.”

“What?”

“Jedi stuff.”

“Jedi stuff?”

“Yes, that’s what I said,” Rey snapped, desperate to leave, desperate to fill that aching need.

“Weren’t you going to tell us?”

“I don’t answer to you, I don’t have to do anything,” she retorted.

“Your one of our best fighters, you’re practically a Jedi, Leia asked you to come here for a reason,” Poe argued.

“Leia knows I’m going, and unlike you she trusts me.”

Poe was a little taken aback at her tone and the flash of anger in her eyes.

“Ok, cool it.”

“I’ll be back the day after tomorrow.”

Poe nodded, trying and failing to get a read on his companion. She was an enigma he couldn’t work it but he knew that she was right, Leia trusted her, and he trusted Leia. Rey descended the shallow flower pot lined steps and into the street. Poe watched her go from the doorway as a low growl disturbed him from behind, Chewie.

“I don’t know pal…. I don’t know.”

−

Rey walked down the busy street, keeping her eyes down and her hood up. She followed the instructions that he had given her. Her heart pounded loudly in her breast, every nerve in her body felt alive and restless. Small ships and hovercraft flew smoothly above her in the hyperspace lanes of Hanna City. The city was a curious mix of old and new, perhaps the best of both worlds. There was a small First Order presence here, but not enough to concern her, not yet anyway. After the New Republic had moved from Chandrila, the First Order began to look at the planet as a new acquisition, ripe for the taking. The mood here was tense, unsure, a tightened bow on a string ready to snap, citizens preparing for the First Order to arrive in strength. Rey ignored the worried, anxious thoughts that seeped into her mind from the city; she couldn’t help them, yet.

The building that she found herself in was a tall apartment complex, built from a pale yellow stone. Its edged were curved, its style that of the High Republic. It stood gracefully out of the city amongst some of the newer buildings. Double doors slid open and let her inside where she was greeted by an old footman.

“Yes?”

Rey tried to ignore the nerves that fluttered in her belly and centred herself, focusing, drawing on the force. She tried not to let herself get distracted when she felt his presence, a frisson of excitement sparked between them.

“You will let me pass,” she waved her hand in front of him.

“I will let you pass,” he repeated, his expression blank.

“You will forget that you saw me.”

“I will forget that I saw you.”

The old man let her pass and for a second, Rey wondered if she should feel guilty. Guilty for using that power on an unsuspecting person for her own selfish need. She quickly shrugged off the feeling and stepped into the elevator. It felt as though the sleek silver elevator crawled slowly up, so intense was her anticipation. The whirring noise grated against her nerves as she clenched her fists at her side. As the machinery ground to a halt, her stomach lurched. The doors opened onto a wide landing with large glass windows, looking down on the city below. The view was breath taking. Up here she felt far away from everything, from everyone, except…

She approached the door that opened for her immediately, as though it had been waiting for her arrival. She stepped into what looked like a spacious open plan apartment, white and cream, simply furnished. The apartment had panoramic views of the bustling city as the golden sun began to set. Her focus however, was on the tall black clad figure standing in the middle of the room. The door slid shut behind her. It was just them.

“You came,” his voice held the disbelief he had felt.

Until he had felt her presence as soon as she had landed on the planet, he had been sure that she would change his mind. She nodded, still standing in the same spot. She was dressed in grey, it suited her he thought, especially with her hair half pinned back. She looked the way she had when she had come to him on Snoke’s ship, she had never been more beautiful to him than in that moment.

“What is this place?” she asked, looking around, trying to stave off the furnace consuming her.

“It’s mine,” he replied, his voice low and deep.

Both stood still, looking at each other, still not quite believing that they were both right there. The need they both felt hummed and pulsed between them, pulling them closer together through the force. Without speaking, both rushed forward at the same time, of one mind, of one thought, of one need. Within seconds, they were locked together, his mouth on hers, her hands in his hair. Both grasping for what they could, both giving what they had. Their dance was rushed and hurried, neither having the time to take it slow, both of them feeling as though they would die from want. It had to be now. Not even undressing, they collapsed on to the floor, still not breaking apart, their kisses claiming each other in a frenzy.

No words were used, they were not needed, not in this moment, both knew what the other wanted, both could feel what the other needed. Ben cradled Rey’s head in his hand to shield it from the hard floor, his fingers gripping her hair. She tugged at the opening of his trousers while he pulled hers down swiftly with one motion. He looked into her hazy eyes for a second, asking her, wanting her confirmation, no needing her confirmation that she needed this as much as he. She nodded; her eyes heavy with desire. Without hesitating, he entered her, driving home, meeting no resistance, just warmth and belonging. She cried out and arched her back as he filled her and let out a heavy sigh of relief. He paused for barely a moment before pulling out and driving into her again, and again and again. Their coupling was quick and frenzied, both hungry and starving. Her cries got louder, turning into screams of pleasure as he pounded into her. The sound of their flesh slapping together filled the room. His groans low and deep and interspersed with the occasional cry, grew more urgent. Both could feel that the other was close, connected in body, mind and spirit. They clung to each other as though searching for a life line as their pleasure took them. He shouted out as he came, plunging hard into her one last time, emptying inside of her. He felt her walls clench around him, milking him for everything he had. Her body spasmed as a wave of pleasure rippled through her, an answer to his call. She pulled his mouth down on to hers, taking it, feeling with her tongue, warm and wet.

He collapsed down on to her, his head resting on her chest, both gasping for breath, both hot and sweating. They were unaware of how long they lay there, spent and exhausted, still fully clothed. Ben still held Rey’s head in his leather gloved hand, she could feel him trembling next to her, the shock waves of his ecstasy still echoing through his body. He slowly rolled off from her and lay on his back, putting his clothes back together. She sat up and pulled her trousers up, back into place, not sure what to do now, feeling embarrassed. She felt Ben reach across and put his hand on her arm.

“I’ve missed you.”

She didn’t respond, she couldn’t just yet.

“I’m going to shower,” she said, standing up shakily and heading to the screened off section of the room.

Ben sat up and watched her go, feeling empty without her in his arms. Rey stepped into the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. Her face was flushed and her hair in disarray.

‘What am I doing?’

Her thoughts and emotions were in turmoil. How could she feel this way about the enemy? What was it that she was feeling? The force had connected them true enough, but there was something more. Could it be just physical attraction, a raw need for belonging, something to blot out the loneliness. She knew deep down that it was not.

Stripping her clothes off and kicking her boots away, she then unpinned her hair, letting it fall completely loose on to her shoulders. She stepped into the cubicle and turned on the water, shivering as cold water hit her bare fevered skin. She began to relax as the water grew warmer, letting it run over her tired limbs. The novelty of taking a shower still had not grown old since leaving Jakku, being able to ‘waste’ that much water, to luxuriate under its clean caress. She ran her hands over her hair, pushing it back from her face when she heard a noise from behind. Ben stood there, watching her, a request in his eyes. Rey nodded and watched appreciatively as he undressed, shedding the outer mantle of Kylo Ren. Ben stood for a moment, naked before her, admiring Rey as the water ran over her toned, pert body. Her naked limbs glistened with the water as her wet hair clung to her neck and shoulders. She was more than he deserved, yet she was here with him now. Stepping under the water with her, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her. She turned her back to him and leant back into his warm, solid body, a wall of muscle behind her.

He slid his hands down her waist until the rested upon her hips, grasping her. Leaning his face into her neck, he kissed her tenderly as she rested her hands upon his, letting out a little sigh. She blocked everything else, everyone else from her mind, just him, with her, here and now. Ben could feel her giving into the moment and held her tighter, never wanting to let go. He should take her prisoner, use her to find the Resistance, yet, how could he? He too pushed everything but Rey from his mind. All the pain and bitterness he had ever felt in his life would be nothing compared to if he lost her. Gathering soap into his hands he turned her to face him and began to lather it over her warmed skin. His hands gently ran down her body, caressing her breast slowly. He felt her nipples harden at his touch and she let out a small gasp. He dipped his hands lower to between her legs, his eyes burning into hers. She gripped his shoulders and rested her head onto his chest, feeling his heart beating strongly within him. They kissed again, deeply, slowly, savouring every single sensation and moment.

He gently turned her round and rubbed the suds over her back, massaging her shoulder muscles, loosening the tension he could feel within. He smiled slightly as she let out a little hum of pleasure. His broad hands swept down her back and grasped and kneaded her smooth buttocks. As she placed her hands upon the tiled wall, his hands slid between her cheeks, gliding up and down, stoking the fire she felt within her belly. Gasping she shuddered at his touch, feeling his hot breath upon her ear as he gently nipped the lobe. She pushed her buttocks back into him, feeling his hardness press into her. She couldn’t help but smile a smile of satisfaction, he wanted her again, as she wanted him. Holding her with one arm around her stomach, his other hand moved to the apex at her thighs and rubbed his fingers between her feminine heat. Up and down, increasing the pressure, flicking and rubbing the sensitive nub that throbbed at his touch. She pushed herself on to his hand and leant her back on to his shoulders, steam beginning to fill the room. Leaning around her he pushed two fingers into her, warm and slick, waiting for him. Finding that sensitive spot he manipulated her flesh, opening his mind fully to her, so that she could feel his pleasure as well as her own. He increased the pressure and the pace until her gasps grew louder and more desperate. The sound of her ecstasy was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard, and he wanted more. He knew that she was close. She cried out one last time and broke apart with a shudder on to his hand. She slumped slightly in his arms; spent from the pleasure he had given her.

Turning to face him once more, she hooked her arms around his neck and looked up into his eyes. His eyes looked on her with desire yes, but also honesty and longing. Keeping eye contact with him she kissed his wet chest, as the water ran over the muscular plains of his body. She ran her tongue across his fevered skin, tasting the salt from his sweat; she felt him shiver at her touch. His arousal pressed firm and hard into her belly. When she licked and sucked at his nipples he growled and swiftly picked her up. Lifting her from under her buttocks, she wrapped her legs tightly around him, moving her mouth back to his. He slammed his hand on the fresher controls, turning it off and carrying her out of the shower. Neither of them cared that they were dripping wet, trailing pools of water behind them. He walked her into the apartment and over to the bed, their mouths not disconnecting, still tasting, licking. He fell onto the large bed with her underneath him as the pink and orange sky painted them in a riot of colour.

He could not hold back any longer and drove himself into her. Both cried out at the completion and belonging that they always felt when they joined. It was beyond anything they had ever felt before, and each time felt more intense, deeper, stronger. Neither noticed various objects floating above and around them in the room, held in stasis by their power and connection. He paused for a moment, looking down at her flushed pink face dotted with freckles, as her wet hair spread around her, soaking into the bedding. He stroked her cheek and kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, her jawline and then her lips. Slowly, tenderly, reverently. She placed one hand on his shoulder, the other tangled into his raven hair, holding him to her. They began to move to a rhythm as old as the galaxy itself, steadily, slowly; savouring every touch, every sensation, every breath. Each of them storing each second away as a memory. Though their lips and words could not and would not make any admissions, their bodies did. Rey knew that Ben was close, his muscles had begun to tense, his expression was one of torturous pain. He pressed his forehead into hers, his pace beginning to quicken as she wrapped her legs around him. He whispered her name over and over like a mantra.

“Rey, Rey…Rey……Rey!”

The last iteration came out strangled as he spilled himself into her. Pulsing and throbbing she clung on to him as he spent himself within her. Both felt as though every cell in their bodies were one, joined, powerful together. So enraptured, in the wondrous feeling they shared, in a universe they had created for each other; they were oblivious to the throbbing shockwave gently break around them. Like waves upon a shore.

As they lay panting and staring into each other’s eyes, the floating objects gradually fell back down as they returned back to the world. Neither wanted to move or let go of the other, they were home. Ben kissed her forehead tenderly, still inside of her, her legs still locked possessively around him.

“I’ve missed you too by the way,” Rey whispered.

The change on his expression as he smiled at her made Rey’s heart feel as though it would shatter into a million shards of light. His smile was beautiful, and he was smiling at her, his eyes fixed on hers. She could feel the warmth and light within him, fighting to get out. She reached her hand up held his cheek, running her thumb over his mouth, smiling back at him. They could do this, they had to, the alternative was not imaginable, not anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you so much for staying on this journey with me, it means so much.
> 
> I have a view ideas and a rough plan of where this is going. However I would like your thoughts. Would you be interested to see elements of TROS tied into the story?   
> x


	10. Bounty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben struggle with their feelings for each other and their differing loyalties. Rey meets an unexpected friend on Chandrila.

Rey slowly opened her eyes, feeling warm and sleepy. The room was darker now, night having fallen, casting the apartment in a cool blue light. The air had cooled but Ben’s body heat radiated from him. She shivered and pulled the blanket up around her, nestling closer to the naked body at her side. He lay on his back, one arm slid beneath her shoulders and wrapped around her, the other flung in abandon behind his head. His chest rose slowly up and down, his breathing deep and heavy. She brushed a loose tendril of hair out of his closed eyes, stroking his cheek gently, making him utter a little smile. He looked beautiful, at peace, younger almost.

Not wanting to wake him, she slid from the bed and softly padded over the smooth, cool floor to the clothes strewn across the floor. She grabbed the closest thing to her, a black garment, Ben’s underlayer top. She pulled it over her head, letting the soft material glide over her naked limbs. It swamped her, but it was warm and soft and smelt like him, musk, fresh soap and a hint of sharpness like iron. She headed quietly over to the window and sat upon the ledge, tucking her knees up to her chest, arms wrapped around them. She looked out at the city, buzzing with light and life. Lights in building windows twinkled and transporters swooped past in the highway lanes, their sound muffled through the glass. She wandered how affected they were by the war, by everything transpiring in the galaxy. Had they had children taken by the First Order, or had they not reached them here yet? 

“What are you thinking?” the deep velvety voice broke into her silence. 

She looked over to the bed where Ben lay, still on his back watching her. His pale skin looked almost translucent in the cold glow of outside. 

“I was wondering about who they are down there,” she looked back down through the window. “Who they are, where they’re going.”

She heard him move, pushing himself to a sitting position. 

“They don’t matter.”

Rey stared at him; her eyes creased in a frown.

“You don’t mean that.”

“What if I do?” his voice seemed lower.

“Then you’re wrong,” she retorted angrily.

“None of us matter.”

Her eyes flashed up at him in surprise, he wasn’t looking at her. He was sat on the edge of the bed, still naked and staring down at the floor. She couldn’t work out his expression so reached out to him; he was already open to her, not hiding anything. He wasn’t talking about everyone; he was talking about himself. 

She got up slowly and walked over to him, kneeling in front of him. She placed her hands upon his face and looked up at him, strengthening the bond between them through the force. He had to know how she felt, had to know how she cared, he wasn’t worthless, he had to see. The bond hummed with life between them. His eyes met hers and she couldn’t bear the pain she could see in them, broken and discarded. 

“You know you matter to me,” she whispered, pressing her forehead into his, wishing she could absorb all of the pain for him. 

He said nothing so she pulled away slightly to look at him.

“Ben?”

“Do I?”

She frowned, not knowing what he meant. Had she not come to him twice now, leaving all else? The look he gave her was hard and piercing and she could feel his resentment. 

“I only matter to a point,” he stated. “You will always put my mother’s cause and your friends first.”

“That is not fair!”

“It’s true.”

“You are the one that made me choose, you keep making me choose!”

“I’m not, you’ve already chosen,” his voice was quiet, distant but certain. “The Resistance’s saviour.”

Rey frowned, anger surging through her already fraught nerves. 

“Don’t you dare!” she snapped, jumping back to her feet. “If that’s the case why am I here?”

He sighed, tired and weary. 

“You’re angry because it’s true.”

“I’m not a saviour, I’m nobody, nothing, remember?” she shouted. “I’m just a person doing the right thing.”

“You’re fighting my mother’s war.”

“And whose war are you fighting?!”

His face hardened and a cold steel entered his eyes. He may have been sitting there completely naked, but he was still intimidating, his power and control exuding from him. He gave no reply.

“Don’t sit there like you are a victim, appealing to my emotions, when you order the kidnap of children for your army!”

“That was Snoke’s programme.”

“Yet you’re carrying it out, still doing Snoke’s bidding for him,” she snorted.

The air between them was thick and heavy with tension and anger, anger that was slowly beginning to unravel. He stood up quickly, fists clenched. Rey threw Ben’s sweater off and cast it to the floor in a rage. Despite the rage flaming between them, he could not help but let his eyes drift down over her tanned body. Every inch she had given and every inch he had claimed. She stood like a righteous, furious goddess glaring at him, practically snarling when she saw him look. She ignored the stirring she felt, what she always felt. 

She grabbed her clothes from their scattered positions on the floor and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. When she came out, he was dressed in his pants and stood in the middle of the room, waiting for a battle. However, she went straight to the door, he felt a wave a panic at her leaving. She paused at the door and turned to look at him, her hand hovering over the door panel. 

“I should never have come,” she whispered. “It was a mistake on both our parts.”

“Rey,” he took a tentative step forward.

She felt a tug but ignored it and walked out of the door, trying not to dwell on his expression. 

She rode the elevator back down to ground level and whirled past the lobby guard who dozed at the desk. She walked out on to the street, pausing to take a deep breath of the cool night air. She headed down the street, brushing past people, lost in thought as her emotions railed inside of her. Laughter and general chatter rolled past her as everyone went about their lives. 

“Rey??”

She looked up in shock to find Rose, standing a few feet in front of her in the street, dressed in civilian clothes. 

“Rose,” her eyes widened and her heart thumped loudly in her chest. 

Rose looked suitably puzzled, seeing her friend there on Chandrila. 

“What are you doing here?” her face wrinkled in a frown. “I though you were with Leia on Naboo?”

"What are you doing here?” snapped Rey, wiping her sweaty palms on her pants.

“Erm, I was sent here by Leia to meet a contact,” Rose stepped closer.

“Oh.”

Rose had not known Rey for long, but she knew enough to know that something was wrong, seriously wrong. 

“Rey?”

Their eyes met for a moment and Rose could immediately see that Rey was distressed. 

“Hey,” she held her hand out, placing it on her shoulder. “Want to get a drink?”

Rey nodded, still looking at the floor. 

“Right,” Rose grabbed her forlorn friend and dragged her to a nearby side street where she knew a small dive bar existed. 

It was not the classiest of establishments, but it would do in a fix. 

“Are you sure about this?” Rey hovered outside, looking through the neon lined windows. 

“Yes sure,” Rose did not sound entirely convinced but just smiled through gritted teeth. “We just need to keep a low profile that’s all.”

Various eyes, human and otherwise fixed on them as they entered the dubious location. Dull thudding music played from a speaker in the background, and general intoxicated chatter filled the air. 

“Grab that booth,” Rose gestured to a table off to the side and near to the door. 

Rey slid into the booth and looked nervously around. Most of the occupants had gone back to their drinks, bar three in the shadows, but neither woman noticed. 

“Come on spill,” ordered Rose, placing a cup of something crimson in front of her on the worn faded table. 

“What is this?” Rey peered into the cup, sniffing it tentatively. 

“Twilekian wine,” she replied, taking a gulp from her own cup. “It was the best they had.”

Rey took a tiny sip, grimacing at the bitter taste, making Rose chuckle.

“It gets better.”

She took another sip and began to notice a sweeter, softer aftertaste. 

“So…why aren’t you on Naboo?”

“I was.”

She took a bigger gulp this time, readying herself to vent.

“I came here to meet someone,” her voice dropped, almost to a whisper. 

“Meet someone?” Rey could see the potential possibilities flit across Rose’s face. “Like a mark, a contact?”

Rey shook her head and finished the wine. 

“I came here to meet…to meet a man,” the words rushed out. 

“A man?” as the meaning to Rey’s words clicked into place, Rose’s eyes widened. 

Rey just nodded and gestured for the bar man to bring her more wine, she needed it. When she looked back at Rose, she was grinning ear to ear. 

“What?”

“You’ve met someone,” she giggled before noticing Rey’s scowl. “Oh, right yeh, you’re upset. What’s wrong?” 

They waited, waiting for the grumpy looking, scarred bar man to fill Rey’s cup. 

“Leave the bottle,” she said, not looking at him. 

He grunted and walked off. Rey picked up the bottle and offered to pour Rose another cup but Rose shook her head, waiting patiently for Rey to answer her question.

“It’s all wrong, everything,” Rey’s words were weighted with emotion. “I should never have got involved, but I did, it’s too late, I’m so torn.”

“Why is it wrong? He’s a flyboy isn’t he, a scoundrel? Kriff, he’s not married, is he?”

“No!” cried Rey.

“Well what is it then?”

“We just can’t be together, it’s impossible.”

Rose could not understand, Rey was being so vague.

“Do you care for him?”

Rey nodded before sipping her wine. 

“Does he care for you?”

“In his way I think.”

“One of those huh?”

Rey drank more wine, enjoying the war fuzzy feeling that began to seep into her body. Rose was surprised to see her friend’s eyes look moist; her expression worn down. Gently she placed her hand on Rey’s arm, trying to offer a modicum of comfort, however little. 

“Rey, I can’t pretend to understand exactly what’s going on. I know one thing though…whatever you have with this man, it’s not making you happy. Maybe you need to move on.”

A tear rolled its way down Rey’s cheek as she stifled a small sob. 

“You don’t want to move on do you? You love him?”

Rey’s expression answered Rose’s question causing her heart to ache for her friend. 

“Whatever you decide to do, I’m here for you, okay?”

“Thank you.”

Their moment was interrupted by Rose’s communicator that started beeping, its blue light flashing. 

“I’d better head back to my ship, I need to make contact with the Resistance,” Rose stated, standing up from the booth. “You going to come with me?”

Rey shook her head, hand still clasping her drink.

“I’m gonna stay a little while.”

“You sure?” Rose looked around as thought to make a point.

“I’ll be fine, get going,” Rey smiled. “Honestly.”

“Okay, see you soon,” Rose replied. “Be careful.”

Rey watched her friend leave as she took another sip of her wine, looking around her. Nobody was paying her any notice. 

She thought back to her conversation with Ben and the look that had been upon his face. Back on Ahch To Luke had warned her not to feel sympathy for Ben, that things would not go the way she had thought. Yet did that mean she had to give up on him, like everyone else had. She could not deny the bond between them, the feelings that she had for him that went beyond desire and affection; if she ignored it, it ate away at her like a rotten limb. Sighing she drained the dregs of her cup and got up, staggering slightly. Her legs felt weak beneath her and her head began to spin with a sickening dizziness. 

‘I only had two cups,’ she muttered to herself. 

Steadying herself on the table, she slowly walked to the bar and dropped a couple of credits for the barman. He grunted as she left. As she walked carefully out of the door, holding the sides, the bar man nodded to three skulking figures.

She gasped the fresh air, hoping it would clear her head but instead it got fuzzier. She felt as though all of the bones in her body had melted and a wave of nausea hit her. She began to regret not leaving with Rose when a large pair of rough hands grabbed her. One arm wrapped roughly around her as one hand slammed down hard on her mouth stifling her cry. She tried to scream but couldn’t. Rey tried to fight the attacker off but his grip was strong. She jolted her head back, slamming it into his face. He groaned in pain as she took the opportunity to slam her foot down hard. Freeing herself she wobbled on her shaky feet and her vision clouded momentarily.

‘What is wrong with me?’

It was then, to her horror, she realised the man was not alone, his two companions took hold of her as she tried to find balance. Her mind struggled to focus as pain split her skull as something hard hit her from behind across her head. Everything went black for a moment and her legs buckled, she could hear male voices in the distance, laughing and jeering. She tried to get up but had no strength when she was forcibly dragged to her feet.

“Scavenger scum,” a voice snarled in her ear, wet and fetid breath upon her skin. “The bounty on your head is gonna set us up for life.”

Her vision slowly returned as she tried to free herself, trying to ignore the wave of terror sweeping through her. She tried to reach out through the force. 

“You will let me go,” her voice was shaking, her vision blurred. 

The attackers just laughed and the leader’s grip on her tightened. A feeling of revulsion and fear coursed through her as his calloused hand ran down her body, touching her, feeling her. She squirmed and struggled.

“You will let me go,” panic was beginning to set in.

“Wine gone to your head darling?” he laughed throatily. “Never trust a bribed bar man.”

The wine, it had been spiked, how could she have been so careless. Was Rose okay?

“Before I hand you in for my reward, I’m gonna have some fun with first,” he whispered into her ear, his hands squeezing her breasts roughly as his two men held her firmly. 

“I’ll kill you first,” she hissed. 

The man just laughed and took his hand lower, her whole body tensed as her head swam violently. 

They threw her to the floor as the leader kicked her hard in the stomach, she couldn’t even cry out in pain, the breath completely knocked from her. She tried to get up but they had her pinned. The leader grabbed her throat and tore at her clothes, eyeing her hungrily. 

“I am going to fuck you raw,” he gloated, sweating over her. “Then my men are going to take their turn.”

She shouted and kicked at him with her legs, spitting in his face, she would not go down without a fight. He hit her hard across the face, holding a blade at her throat. 

“Try that again and I will slit your throat, bounty or no bounty.”

She closed her eyes praying for it to be over when a loud crackling buzzing noise shocked her into stillness. Opening her eyes there was a flash of red and black, a shadow and a scar. The bounty hunter’s head fell from his shoulders, a charred stump smelling of charred flesh left behind. His body hovered over her for a second before slumping to the side. His companions starred down disbelievingly at the headless body. The was a second where everything paused as though on stasis and Rey looked up to see the tall black figure of Ben poised to attack. His look was one of pure unadulterated hate and rage, his eyes looked black, like pools of dark shadow. He lunged, saber poised to strike as they let go of her and began shooting their blasters. Rey rolled to her side and attempted to push herself up as Ben leapt over, blocking their blaster bolts and force projecting one of them to the other side of the alleyway and crashing into the wall. He ran his saber through the chest of the hunter still standing, his victim’s expression one of shocked puzzlement as he looked down at the gaping hole in his chest. Withdrawing his blade, he swung again and cleaved the man in half, fury and anger driving him. The remaining attacker tried to flee but Ben’s rage was a fire, out of control. Using the force, he held the man in stasis, his breathing coming in raspy deep breaths. He played over in his mind what he’d seen them do, what they had planned to do to Rey. He let go, let the anger consume him, absorb him. The man screamed as Ben ripped him apart with the force, feeling every bone and muscle tear apart, Ben’s hand outstretched screaming in rage, power flowing through him. Rey watched in horror as the man broke into a dozen pieces with a final cry of sheer terror and dropped in a heap on the floor. 

Ben dropped to his knees, his head dropped, gasping. He felt intoxicated as his hate coursed through him like a torrent. Darkness and hate, pierced through by light, soft and warm, Rey. 

‘Rey!’

He got up, still breathing heavily and ran to Rey’s side, wrapping his arms around her, holding her face gently as his eyes scanned her. 

“Are you hurt? Are you okay?”

Rey nodded, shaking all over, trying to clutch at her torn garments, barely able to focus, tears beginning to fall. 

“You’re safe now Rey,” he whispered, pulling him to her. 

She felt as though all of her strength had gone as she fell back into the crook of his arm. She looked up at him.

“Ben...”

His worried expression was the last thing she saw as everything turned to black and silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading.
> 
> Feel free to follow me on Twitter at @TwistedMirror_
> 
> see also for details of my Ko-Fi page xx


	11. Empress

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben deal with the attack on Rey the night before.   
> Rey struggles with the temptation Ben lays before her.

Rey was vaguely aware of a warm light caressing her face and the smell of fresh bed linen. She slowly opened her eyes, wincing at the throbbing pain that filled her head. Her vision was fuzzy, unclear and took a moment to settle, the blurry images around her slowly shifting back into focus. Blinking again she looked up at the white ceilings and walls, surmising that she must be back in Ben’s apartment. 

‘What happened?’

Sensing a presence to her right shifting in a chair, she turned her head slowly to find Ben watching over her. He was sat in a chair, positioned next to her, leaning forward, eyes crinkled and brow furrowed. He gently placed a broad hand upon her brow with a sigh, checking her temperature.

“Ben?” her voice came out as a raspy croak, her mouth felt like the Jakku desert. 

He reached behind him and picked up a cup of water before helping her sit up. She fell slowly back against the headboard as her head spun, Ben steadying her. 

“Here, drink this,” he pressed the cup to her hands. 

She took a sip, enjoying the cool, clear water. She began to gulp, desperate to quench her thirst, the full extent of her dehydration hitting her. 

“Hey easy,” he said, as the water began dripping down her chin. 

He took the cup away from her, placing it on the floor besides the bed as she wiped her chin with the back of her hand. 

“Wh…what happened?” her voice slowly returning to normal, though still somewhat hoarse.

“You were drugged and attacked,” his voice was clipped and tense, his jaw hardened.

Rey could tell that he was keeping something back, restraining himself. She tried to piece together her fractured memories from the previous nights.

“How long have I been out?” 

“Fifteen hours.”

Ben motioned his head to something in the corner of the room that she had not noticed. A low humming noise, followed by an automated beeping approached, a small IT-SOO.2 medical droid. Its small, black, spherical body hovered over Rey, as a small attachment whirred, protruding forward from its main compartment. A shutter slid backwards at the end of the protrusion, revealing a soft blue light that it waved up and down over Rey. Ben said nothing, waiting for the droid to offer an updated prognosis. 

“The toxin is beginning to leave her blood stream. She will most likely experience dizziness and nausea for a few hours. Her blood pressure is a little high, but that will abate with the toxin. She will need plenty of rest and fluids,” its robotic voice spoke clearly and slowly. “Would you like me to shut down now sir?”

Ben nodded and the droid floated back to the table it had been resting upon, lowering itself down, its humming fading to nothing. Its lights flickered off. 

Ben turned back to Rey, who was feeling the bruises lightly on her arms and neck, her frown deepening. 

“Attacked,” she murmured. 

He was about to launch into a lecture about why she shouldn’t have walked off into the night like she had, let alone drink, when he noticed that her breathing had deepened. She wouldn’t look him in the eye. She felt her chest tighten, as a wave of humiliation, fear and revulsion leached out of the dark shadows of her foggy memory of the night. Memories began to filter through; that alleyway, the grasping fingers, the feel of the hard ground under her back as…

“Those men,” she whispered. 

Ben’s jaw clenched and his hands squeezed into fists, his knuckles white, nostrils flared. 

“If you hadn’t got there…” her voice choked and her cheeks glistened with moisture as tears began to fall.

She couldn’t help it, she felt like that small frightened, abandoned girl on Jakku again. That same girl who had felt vulnerable and exposed, helpless. The same girl, who before she found her AT AT home, would like awake in her bed in the village, terrified that one of those creatures, those men that had given her lascivious looks during the day would come. She had been too young, too innocent to fully understand what those looks had meant, but she knew that they were wrong, evil. She had promised herself to never be powerless again, had learnt how to fight and defend herself. Last night however, she had been careless, stupid, and she had been reduced to that little girl once more. 

She let out a sob, starting to shiver.

“It’s my fault,” she whispered. 

He wanted to hold her, touch her, let her know he was there for her, but he didn’t think that she would want that. It wasn’t what she needed, not after last night. 

“Rey, I would never let anyone hurt you,” she heard the cold edge to his voice, remembering his actions.

He had fought for her, as a creature of darkness and shadow, hate and righteous anger. In Snoke’s throne room, he had fought for her too, but he had been sure of himself, of his need to protect Rey. Last night had been different, he had been fuelled by pure rage and hatred. Hatred for those men and what they had been about to do. He had seen, as well as she had, into their minds, saw their intentions and evil impulses. She had felt his presence like a cold frost brushing against her consciousness, powerful, beautiful and terrible at the same time. She could feel the remnants within him, alongside something else, something that felt like guilt. 

“Ben?” she reached her hand out, seeking his. 

His eyes searched her reddened ones, looking for a sign.

“Hold me,” she whispered, like a prayer.

Without hesitating, he climbed on to the bed, scooping Rey up into his arms, pulled her onto his lap and cradled her close, scared to hold her too tight. Her body was tense, stiff, but as his arms enveloped her, he felt her body begin to relax, to soften into his. She felt an indescribable feeling of warmth, safety and want, and not for the first time she felt as though she were home. She sighed and nuzzled into him, hearing and feeling his heart beating steadily in his chest. The strong pulse of the force emanated from him, as strong as the life within him, within her. 

Holding her, he thought how right it was that they were here, together. He could feel her emotions and comfort through the force, letting it warm his very soul. If only she would join him, the things that they could achieve together, do together. She would be safe with him, he would make sure she felt like this all of her life, taking care of her in every way he could, taking care of her in the way she had always deserved. Sensing his thoughts, she began to pull away slowly.

“Ben,” she murmured. 

He gently pulled her back to him, holding her hand in his. 

“I’m sorry Rey, but you know it’s true,” he spoke softly, she heard the longing in his cadence. “If you were with me, I could take care of you.”

She looked up into his eyes, eyes that looked almost haunted with want and need. She reached a hand upwards and cupped his face, running her thumb across his cheek.

“What you did for me last night,” she began, wanting him to know how much it mean to her. 

“I won’t feel guilty about killing them,” he hissed, a flash of wrath behind his eyes. “I’d do it again, without hesitation, for what they did to you, for what they were… going to do to you. They deserved it.”

Her next words took him by surprise.

“Yes, they did,” she whispered, her voice laced with venom. “I’m glad that you did, I would have done the same.”

Her eyes stayed fixed upon his; he could feel the anger and hate she felt towards those men, their bodies now cold in a morgue. She felt no resentment towards his actions, no judgement he had been waiting for as she slept. It felt…freeing.

“Those men, they were bounty hunters,” she stated, waiting for reaction.

She felt him shift beneath her.

“Yes, there’s a bounty on your head,” he admitted. “Hux ordered it, one hundred thousand galactic credits.”

“Wow,” she scoffed. “I didn’t think that I was worth that much.”

Ben frowned and wrapped his hand around her jaw and neck, fingers intertwining with her hair.

“You are worth so much more than that, I wish that could see it, that you would let me show you.”

She felt him probe gently at her mind, trying to show her something but she resisted him, pushed back. Whatever he was trying to show her, she could not afford to see, his words were too tempting, too dangerous.

She shook her head, though still not pulling away from him.

“No Ben, no more talk of war,” she uttered quietly. “When we are here, no war, just us.”

He nodded though he did not agree, it was not enough, and she knew that too, but for now it would do. They both reached for the compromise, desperate, knowing anything else would likely mean their parting. 

She leant her head back on to his chest, revelling in the feeling of someone holding her, taking care of her. How many nights had she spent in the past, yearning for the feel of someone’s warmth and touch? He rested his chin upon her head as he stroked her arm lightly. He felt himself relax alongside her, her light and warmth spreading through him, soothing his storming emotions. The panic he had felt last night, when he had realised that she was in danger had disarmed him. He had gone blazing in without thinking, all blind rage and a desperate need to protect Rey. Snoke had been right, she was his weakness, but she was also his soul. If he didn’t have that, what was he? He could feel that now, and as she lay in his arms, he wanted it more than ever. He looked down as her breathing deepened, she had fallen asleep. The fact that she had done so, trusting him, secure enough with him made something take deep root within his heart. Hope. 

−−

Hux stood on the bridge, hands clasped behind his back, looking out at the star filled sky. His sight fixed on the countless systems that would soon be in his grasp, their grasp. He stood with an air of confidence had anyone being observing him, and what looked to be a whisper of a smirk upon his thin pink lips. His hair and uniform as always, immaculate, due to much anxiety and sleepless nights for the poor crew member whoes job it was to press it. The sound of boots walking across the bridge towards him alerted him to someone approaching but he did not turn, he was in control here, his men knew that, they would know that. The footsteps came to a halt at his side, almost with a stamp as though to announce their presence. 

“Admiral Hux,” they greeted officially. 

Hux turned enough to see who it was, of course, he had been waiting for this.

“Admiral Pryde,” he replied with a slight nod of the head. 

Both men were silent, staring out of the window, both waiting for the other to speak. Hux was a patient man, he always had been, he’d needed to be, especially with his father. Pryde growing impatient cleared his throat. 

“I understand that our Supreme Leader is not on board.”

“You are correct,” his tone light and conversational. 

“I believe he has been gone for the last two days,” Pryde ventured. “It must be a mission of some importance. I assume he has taken his Knights with him?”

“He has not.”

“Ah,” Pryde seemed to consider his words carefully. “Does that not fill you with concern Admiral, that our leader is who knows where with no security measures?”

Hux turned to face the older man, his face impassive, his stance confident. 

“Are you doubting our Supreme Leader’s abilities?”

“Of course not, one just questions the order of things, the stability of our hold on power, his hold on power.”

It seemed to Hux as though Pryde was holding his breath on those last words, his eyes searching Hux’s. Pryde’s subtle expression relaxed as Hux answered him. 

“Yes Admiral, one does.”

−−

Rey slowly awoke to find her surroundings in darkness, aside from the blueish glow of the cities lights outside. She was wrapped in Ben’s arms, half lying on top of him, her one leg tangled within his, one hand on his warm chest. Both of his arms held her as one hand cupped her elbow. His breathing was slow, deep and heavy; her head rising and falling as it rested upon his broad chest. The little light outside reflected upon his ivory skin as she tilted her head to look up at him. He always looked younger when he slept, all the stress induced lines and shadows melted away showing the Prince he was. His long dark lashes fluttered as he slept, his full lips moist and parted. 

“Rey,” it was barely a whisper but she heard it. 

“I’m here,” she held his face in her hand, leaning over him.

She could swear that a shadow of a smile danced upon his lips; she would give anything to see him smile, really smile. 

Her body thrummed with life and need as she lay next to him, regretting the wasted hours as she had recovered. Her head felt much clearer, the last of the drug having left her body. She slowly lowered her face down to his sleeping one, feeling the warmth of his breath upon her skin. She let her lips brush against his, barely touching as she held his face. Knowing that he trusted her to sleep like this, so deeply and unguarded when she could deliver him to the Resistance filled her with a rush of emotion. An emotion so intense it hurt. 

She pressed her lips gently against his, flicking her tongue carefully into his mouth, tasting him. He stirred slightly in his sleep, she felt his hands tighten around her. She kissed him again, deeper, fuller this time. He responded, kissing her back as his eyes slowly flickered open. 

“Sorry I woke you,” she whispered.

“No you’re not.”

“No, I’m not.”

He could always see right through her, she couldn’t hide from him, it felt intoxicating. He slid his hands up to her waist, his hands spanning her easily. That fact that he could crush her if he so chose to, only fuelled her needy fire. Their kisses deepened, both seeking, both giving. She positioned herself so that she sat astride him, pulling away from his kiss only to pull her tunic up over her head. She could feel his stiff arousal beneath her crotch and rubbed against him, eliciting a low, deep growl of a moan from him. She sat upright, his eyes black and intense in the darkness, eyed her hungrily. He cupped her breasts in his hands, kneading and stroking, circling his thumbs over her nipples. 

She leant into the warmth of his hands, pushing against them, adding to the pressure. He was beginging to pant as she felt his desire wash over her in a heated haze, powerful and heady. She slid further down his thighs, reaching for the black waistband of his bottoms. His panting intensified as she popped open the fastenings and parted the fabric. 

“Rey…” he exhaled. “You aren’t well, we shouldn’t.”

She paused for a moment, looking at him.

“I’m fine, I want this,” she reassured him before smiling wryly. “Besides I think the time for shouldn’t has long passed.”

She released his erection with one swift movement, the sharp intake of his breath as she touched his velvety length made her smile. She ran her hand up and down him softly, rubbing her thumb over the head, rubbing in the small bead of moisture that had leaked from him. She could feel his thighs tense beneath her at her strokes.

Leaning over his length, her petite hands spread across his hips, feeling his hip bone beneath. She began to lower her mouth to him. 

“Rey, what are you…?”

He never finished his sentence, merely gasping as she closed her lips around his purple, throbbing head. She moaned as she took more of him in, enjoying his musky, salty taste upon her eager tongue. She enjoyed the way that he was putty in her hands, finding the power she had over him a thrill. She looked up at him through her lashes as she sucked his skin, using her hands to stroke his base. His eyes locked on to hers for a moment before the pleasure became too much, his head falling back on to the pillow. The intensity of sharing this new experience with him spurred him on. She took as much of him as she could, sliding down his hot length until he hit the back of her throat. She held back a choke, her eyes watering, pulling away just a little before doing it again. He let out what sounded like a whimper as she worked him, grabbing her hair into his fist. She could feel how much he was holding back, not wanting to hurt her. Ben did not know how much longer he could hold on, his vision beginning to blur. The sound of her wet lips smacking and sucking against his flesh driving him into another realm. 

Suddenly she removed her mouth, wiping her lips with her hand, leaving him feeling cold and empty, craving more, craving her. He took a steadying breath as she removed her underwear, leaving her completely naked. He pushed himself up so that she was sat with her straddling his lap. She helped him remove his soft black top, stroking his chest and running her palms over his nipples, causing a shiver to ripple through his body. Neither of them uttered words, it wasn’t needed, for their bodies did the talking. Their bodies could say what their souls wanted them to, that words couldn’t. 

She placed her hands upon his shoulders as he claimed her mouth with a deep kiss, cupping her buttocks with his hands. She shivered as her nipples brushed against his chest, hard and firm. Pushing herself up, she hovered over his length, feeling it push slightly at her dripping entrance. With her eyes fixed on his, she slowly pushed herself down on to him until he filled her. Both let out a low moan as she did. She could feel every inch, every ridge inside her against her walls. Biting her lip she pulled herself up and lowered herself slowly back down again, luxuriating in the feel of him inside of her. He let out a deep sigh on the second thrust, squeezing her buttocks and resting his head on her shoulder. She tilted his head up and kissed him again, thrusting again, making him sigh into her kiss. He placed one hand upon her waist and with the other held her neck and face as she began to ride him. Slowly, taking her time, savouring very single sensation, every breath, every tendril of pleasure that spread through their bodies. Their minds bridged, feeling each other’s pleasure and emotions. As she rode him, she could not help but marvel at how he made her feel. He made her feel as though she were the most desirable woman in the galaxy. No longer a grubby scavenger, his…

‘Empress.’

His mind finished her thought as her orgasm took her and her mind and body splintered into a thousand pieces. She fell, limp against his chest, covered in a sheen of perspiration. Gripping her under her buttocks he lifted her up and down on his arousal, once, twice, again, pumping himself inside of her. 

‘That’s what you are Rey, my Empress, my Queen.’

His words echoed through her mind like honey, sweet and sticky. Words she liked hearing if she admitted to herself, words he wanted to give her, to show her. He felt a deep pressure, down in his core as he jerked and shuddered, emptying himself into her with a cry. Clinging to each other, they shook and sighed, finding their way back to reality, to the planet’s surface.

The hours passed as did the night, as Rey and Ben sought each other over and over again. Exploring every inch of each other’s bodies, finding new ways to elicit a gasp, a sigh, a breathy moan. The waves of pleasure that racked through them, the connection they felt was a drug, a balm to wounded souls. Here in the darkness, naked limbs entangled, they could be who and what they wanted, Rey and Ben. No war, no fighting, just each other, groans of pleasure and barely whispered words filling the shadows.


	12. Pieces on a Board

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey and Ben must part ways as Rey returns to Naboo.  
> Leia has an audience with the Queen of Naboo whilst Ben meets with one of his Admirals.  
> Events are now set in motion that will change everything, is this the calm before the storm?

Ben did not sleep at all that night, lying awake long after Rey had fallen into a deep sleep, exhausted and sated from their love making. Ben could not bring himself to sleep, preferring instead to watch over her. Any moment together could be their last, any moment she could reject him completely, leave him alone once more. He wasn’t sure how he would handle that, the thought of her doing that made his chest tighten. The anger he had felt on Crait would be tenfold. He had tried to peer into the future for a sign, reached out to his grandfather, but all he saw was fog, confusion and pain. Sighing he stroked Rey’s hair that lay down her back, soft and silky. She was sprawled upon her belly, one arm hooked over his lap as he sat in bed. She let out a deep sigh and moved in her sleep, her legs tangled within the sheets.

The orange and pink light of the sunrise flooded into the room, mingling its warmth with Rey’s golden glowing aura, made of light and love. It always emanated from her whether she knew it or not. For a moment he let himself bask in it, let it surround him, absorb it, letting it flow through him. He wanted her, all of her, she was as part of him as he was of her. Yet he couldn’t walk away from the power he had, the power he had to change the galaxy for the better. True peace, true balance, no more chasing a mere shadow of it. She had to see that. He had sensed glimpses of her darkness within, potential for hate and anger, she had to see that it could help her, make her stronger.

Sunrise meant one thing, he had to get back to his ship, his real life, he had been gone for too long as it was. Slowly, trying not to wake her, he slid out from the bed, letting her arm drop gently to the mattress. He pulled the sheets higher over her before heading to the fresher, letting its cool water wash over him. As he dried himself off and began to get dressed, a curious sensation took him. He felt as though someone else was there; he paused, sweater in hands, his senses alert for danger. Looking out into the apartment, there was just Rey, sleeping. Brow furrowed, he padded softly across the tiled floor to the apartment door, opening it and peering out. Nobody was there. 

‘Strange.’

The feeling had gone now but he had been sure that they hadn’t been alone. They would need to be careful leaving the apartment building. He gently tapped the controls to close the door again, before heading to the kitchen.

Rey stretched languidly in bed, warm, satiated and comfortable although hungry as her stomach began to growl at her. The low morning sun hit her face through the window making her squint at its brightness. She felt strange, a feeling had she experienced it before would have likened to contentment. Alas, the cold reality of day crept in, like a winter’s frost; she drew her legs back in, shivering. She heard pottering noises coming from the kitchen at the other side of the apartment and a warm spicy smell permeating the air. Sitting up she pulled the sheets up around her bare breasts, her dark hair slightly askew around her head. The rising sun, getting ever higher marked her time here at an end. She followed Ben with her eyes as he walked across the apartment to her, carrying a bowl.

“Morning.”

“Morning,” she replied a little stilted, as she tucked her hair behind her ears. 

The heady abandon of the previous night, their bodies lost in the darkness was replaced with the harsh reminder of reality and war. 

“You need to eat something,” he held out the steaming bowl to her, cupped in his hands. “Be careful, it’s hot.”

She gingerly took the bowl and placed it on her lap, careful not to let the sheets drop. If he noticed, he didn’t say anything.

Using the spoon, she carefully took a mouthful of the soft, golden mixture, dotted with some kind of fruit. It was delicious, making her smile as the warmth spread through her. The grains softened by the heat were creamy and rich, sweetened with nectar and berries, fragrant with some kind of spice. After a few more mouthfuls she noticed him watching her. She raised her eyebrows and could not help but tease him a little. 

“You made this?” 

His brow twitched as he nodded.

“I didn’t think that cooking breakfast fell into the Supreme Leader’s area of expertise.”

Instead of annoyance she saw a smirk play upon his lips. 

“Aren’t you too busy destroying worlds?”

Instantly she bit her tongue, she’d gone too far. The smirk fell, replaced by a stony resolve, his jaw tight. He went to walk away but she couldn’t let him.

“I’m sorry,” she blurted. “It’s delicious, thank you.”

He stopped where he was, his expression one of someone weighing up something in his mind. He sat down on the bed next to her as she hungrily ate the rest of the food. She didn’t mind that he watched her and could feel a measure of contentment ebbing from him via the force. 

“I used to dream of food like this when I was a child,” she commented as she licked the spoon. 

“It’s just porridge,” he replied, feeling a huge twinge of injustice at how she had to grow up. 

“It’s far nicer than Plutt’s rations I can tell you, the miserable bastard,” she looked down at the bowl, disappointed that she had finished. 

He took her face in his hand, running his thumb across her velvety skin. 

“’I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Sorry that nobody was there for you.”

She could not help but lean into his hand, his heat, his smile, faint though it may be. Just as abruptly he pulled away, the coldness returned. 

“I need to leave,” he stated, in as matter of fact manner as he could. 

“Yeh, me too.”

She shuffled out of the bed, still clutching the sheets around her, looking for he clothes. Ben handed her a neatly folded pile. Taking them from him, he continued to look at her making her raise her brows. 

“Rey, I’ve seen you naked, I don’t think it matters anymore.”

“Please.”

A flash of disappointment appeared in his eyes but he turned away, waiting for her. 

"Okay.”

Both stood looking at each other, knowing that they needed to part, knowing that it would tear them inside. Rey had to try once more, she would always try, she had to, she would never give up. 

“Please come home with me,” she pleaded. 

He felt the pain and emotion in her voice and wanted desperately to give in, but a voice echoed around his head. 

‘Weak.’

“You know that I can’t, not after what I’ve done.”

She took a step closer, holding on to his arm. 

“Yes, you can, we can work this out… together.”

Her voice trembled and her hand shook. 

“You think the Resistance would welcome me with open arms?” he sneered. “You call it home but it’s not my home, it’s not even your home, not really and you know it, deep down.”

His voice was low and firm, again she saw no lies within him. 

“No Rey, you have to see your home is with me. Come with me, you know it’s the only way. You can be who and what you want with me, I’ll protect you.”

His words, his voice, the temptation to take his hand and leave him was stronger than ever. It would be so easy to, she owed nobody anything, there was nothing to hold her back. Then she remembered Leia’s face, her promise that she would return to her, the faces of people that were relying on her. She shook her head.

“You think I could willingly come with you, knowing what you would do to my friends, to helpless worlds, helpless children.”

Ben ignored her counter argument, instead carrying on with his own.

“You’re still afraid, after everything, still holding on, ignoring what you could be. You’re trying so hard to be what they want you to be, the Resistance hero, their chosen one,” he snapped, his emotions wrought with frustration. 

Rey clenched her fists at her side, temper flared. 

“Stop acting like you know me,” she shouted, her eyes flashing with a fire he recognised. 

“I’m the only one who does.”

His voice had dropped and she saw no lies or gloating in his expression. That scared her more than anything, she knew that he never lied to her, he always spoke the truth with her, no matter how hard it was. Truth, simple and clear, not wrapped in pretty words to hide its true intent. He could feel a small crack in her resolve and reached out hopefully; if she had but the courage to take his hand. She felt her wall begin to crumble, like weathered stone against a storm. She marched past him to the door, clinging on to the last of her resolve. 

“I should never have come,” she muttered, her hand over the control panel. 

His large hand reached from behind her and pressed over her own, stopping her. She felt his warm breath against her neck, his fingers interlaced with her own. She let out a deep, heavy sigh as his other arm slid around her, holding her belly as he rested his head upon her shoulder. She instinctively leant back into his solid mass. 

“You’re tearing me apart,” she whispered.

“Don’t go,” his voice was strained, almost choking.

“I have to,” she pulled away from him but he caught her wrist and turned her around. 

Grasping her face, he kissed her, as though it would be the last time. She let herself drown in him and when he let go and stood back, she felt as though she couldn’t breathe. 

He looked broken and she could feel himself restraining himself from stopping her leaving. He wanted her, but not like that. The pull between them was so intense it was as though her own body had been torn apart. She lunged at him, pulling his head down into a kiss. He needed no further encouragement and took her mouth as he lifted her up, hands underneath her buttocks. She locked her legs around his waist as he pushed her up against the wall. They both fumbled with their fastenings, hands grasping and clutching, not quick enough for their body’s need. Ben yanked at her bottoms and freed himself as Rey clung to him. Both cried out in ecstasy and pain as he plunged into her, hard and fast. There was no art or elegance to their coupling, just frenzied, hurried slamming of flesh. It was over in minutes as Ben cried out, shuddering into her and she gripped his hair and took his lips into hers. The force pulsed around them, and for a second, they were one soul, one spirit. 

Ben still holding on to her, gasped for breath, his head leaning against hers. Her hand stroked his head and the back of his neck, his hair soft and silky. Slowly he lowered her down as she unhooked her legs from around him. They readjusted their clothing, both still flushed but beginning to feel the coldness of separation. 

“I have to leave,” Rey whispered.

“I know.”

He didn’t try to stop her or say anything, just watched her go in silence. He was alone once more. 

−−

Rey hurried down the street towards Pooja’s house, mindful of the people around her. Reaching out with the force, she could feel no danger around her, she was unnoticed. After the run in with the Bounty Hunters on Chandrila, her senses were hyper alert. She stepped around some children playing Quoit in the street as she reached the narrow stone steps cut into the side of the building, the familiar scent of flowers filling the air. She pressed the buzzer, holding her breath, hoping that she was not too late. The door slid open to reveal Poe, standing there with his arms crossed. 

“Where have you been?” he demanded impatiently. “We need to leave soon.”

“I…I ran into some trouble, that’s all,” she answered, avoiding his eyes.

She pushed past him into the hallway. 

“Rey? Is that you?”

She heard Leia call to her from the living room so followed her voice.

Leia was sat on the sofa, dressed for her audience with Queen Sanjukta in her grey dress coat with its stiff collar. She looked every inch the Princess and General that she was, and not for the first time, did Rey feel admiration for her. Leia’s face lit up at the sight of Rey, before instantly falling, her eyes reflecting a concern that Rey could feel across the force. 

“Rey, what happened? Your clothes, they’re torn.”

Rey took a deep breath, knowing that she had to tell the truth, at least partially. 

“I was attacked, by Bounty Hunters.”

She heard Pooja gasp behind her, Chewie standing over by the window growled. Leia’s expression was still, her eyes however, searched Rey’s.

“Bounty Hunters?” questioned Poe, entering the room. 

“The First Order have placed a Bounty on my head for one hundred thousand galactic credits,” Rey stated.

Poe whistled.

“Ren,” he said, as though it were a fore gone conclusion.

“No, Hux,” Rey interjected quickly. 

Leia raised her eyes, noticing Rey’s quickness at correcting Poe.

“Are you hurt Rey?” Leia asked.

“No, I’m fine, just a few bruises.”

Leia looked as though she wanted to say more, Rey could feel the questions and as grateful for the presence of the others. 

“Rey, come with me, we’ll get you some fresh clothes,” Pooja placed her hand on Rey’s arm and gently steered her from the room. 

She followed Pooja upstairs, where she was shown into a bedroom at the end of the hallway. It was light and airy, much like the rest of the house, full of hand-crafted wooden furniture amongst the cleaner lined modern items. It was a room Rey would have dreamed of as a little girl. Despite the beauty of the room, Rey could not help but feel an echo of sadness around her. She reached out with her feelings, letting the past talk to her. Someone, a woman, had cried in here often, grieving over a loss beyond words. Rey wondered what the past would tell her if it could. Pooja studied the look on Rey’s face as it turned to one of sadness. 

“This was my aunt Padme’s room,” she explained, her voice light but betraying her pain. “My parents couldn’t bare to change it after we lost her.”

“It’s beautiful,” Rey commented, running her hand across the smooth, polished dressing table. 

Pooja opened a closet and pulled out several items of clothing.

“Here you go,” she stated, draping them across the bed. “Some of these should fit you. The fresher is through there, we have to leave in ten minutes.”

“I’ll be ready,” said Rey pulling her boots off.

Pooja paused at the door, turning back to her guest.

“You know, Leia is a good friend, you can trust her. I hope that you know that.”

She said nothing else, just waited for Rey to acknowledge her words. Rey nodded, wondering why she had said that. What had Leia said to her?

“I know.”

“Good.”

With that Pooja left her to it. 

−−

Theed Palace was an elaborate building and as they got closer, Rey could appreciate its beauty. Rey had never been anywhere, where everything was destined with style and beauty in mind, not just function and necessity. The motley group led by their hostess, were escorted inside by the Queen’s guard. The palace halls and corridors were large and spacious, glistening marble filling the rooms. Busts and portraits, as well as elaborate murals depicted the planet’s previous rulers and its history. Rey could not help but look around her in awe, she had nothing in her past to compare it to. She felt like an impostor, a scavenger like her from nothing, in a place such as this. She subconsciously smoothed the midnight blue tunic she had elected to wear with dark grey trousers. The tunic had a swooping neckline and sleeves that skimmed her arms closely, the garment hugging her body past her waist. She had paired it with a black waistcoat with a stiff collar, her normal tan belt around her waist. The garments were finer than anything she had ever worn before, the fabric soft and comforting against her skin, constructed with the finest of stitching, yet she still felt inadequate. She checked that her hair was still neat and tidy in its simple bun, before smoothing her tunic again.

“Stop worrying,” murmured Leia. “You’re making me nervous.”

Rey let out a nervous laugh.

“I’ve never met a Queen before,” muttered Rey, keeping her steps in line with Leia’s slightly slower ones. 

“They’re just people like you and me,” Leia replied, before dryly adding. “Except they can order your execution if they wish.”

Rey laughed at the older woman’s words, finding a degree of comfort in them.

“Did your…personal mission go successfully?” Leia asked, glancing sideways at her.

Rey felt herself begin to blush.

“As well as could be expected.”

“I hope that it wasn’t too exhausting.”

Rey’s head whipped round.

“What?”

“Following the attack,” said Leia, looking ahead, face passive. 

“Erm no.”

“Good,” Rey could swear that Leia’s face twitched. “Here we are, the throne room.”

The delegation stood before a huge pair of long double doors, from floor to ceiling. The guards opened them and someone inside could be heard making the announcement of their arrival. 

“General Leia Organa.”

They walked into the room, their footsteps echoing across the marble floor. The room was flooded with the warm afternoon light from the large wall length windows that looked upon the crashing waters of the falls below. Queen Sanjukta was sat upon her throne, dressed in an elaborate gown of green and gold. Her rich, golden skin was covered in the traditional white paint of Naboo royalty, making her amber eyes more luminous. Her top lip was painted a vivid blood red, with a crimson line cutting through her lower lip, two red circles highlighted her cheeks. An elaborate, complicated, circular headdress covered her black hair aside from the tight black braids that fell down on to her shoulders. She cut a striking figure; Rey’s eyes widened. The Queen was flanked on either side by her handmaidens, their dark and golden skin accentuated by the matching golden hooded robes that they wore. 

Other members of the court formed a semi-circle around the Queen, various advisors and lords. It was the Queen's second term in rule, she had amassed a great many supporters due to her firm but caring hand. Leia, standing before the Monarch, leaning on her cane, bowed formally. 

“Your majesty.”

“General Organa,” the Queen’s voice was warm and lilting, like a sweet, rich honey. “I am so pleased to meet you.”

The Queen stepped down from her dais and took Leia’s hand, her face welcoming despite the extreme makeup. 

“I grew up listening to tales of your exploits, and those of your mother,” the Queen added carefully. “You both were truly an inspiration and the reason that I got into politics.”

“You flatter me,” replied Leia graciously, pressing down on to her cane. 

“Not flattery General, a simple truth.”

The Queen noticed Leia leaning on her cane and straight away gestured for them to sit, Leia gratefully took a seat next to the Queen. 

“You must know why I have come your majesty.”

Sanjukta nodded, her expression grave.

“I do. It is not an easy position that we are in. The First Order has had its eyes on our planet for a long time. We have been fortunate so far as to evade its grasp.”

Leia could feel her heart begin to sink; the Queen continued.

“However, do not think that we are blind to the sacrifices and losses that the Resistance have taken. Losses that you have endured in trying to restore peace to the galaxy. Despite this, I cannot risk Naboo and its people. We saw what happened to the Hosnian system.”

“Starkiller Base is gone, reduced to ash.”

“Yet how long until the First Order constructs another super weapon, if they have not already.”

Rey who had sat quietly until this point shot out of her seat and stood before the Queen. 

“How long until the First Order come for your children to add to their army? Because they will come! How long until they come for your resources?! You can’t sit back and do nothing!”

“Rey,” Leia warned, her voice a low command.

The Queen did not flinch at Rey’s outburst, merely raised her brow. 

“And you are?”

Rey blushed, embarrassed at her impetuous outburst, dropping her eyes to the floor, feeling the scowls of all the Queen’s staff upon her. 

“Rey,” she bowed slightly. “Your majesty.”

“Rey, sit down,” said Leia firmly but with a kind edge to her tone. 

Rey silently went back to her seat. 

“Your majesty, while my young friend here may have been impassioned and impetuous in her delivery, her words are no less true. The First Order will come here and you will not be able to fight them alone.”

−−

“Well…that went well,” Poe commented sarcastically with his arms crossed his chest. 

The visitors were sat in a reception room for refreshments whilst Leia had a private audience with Queen Sanjukta. Chewie growled quietly in response, shaking his head. 

“What got into you?” he asked Rey incredulously.

Rey bit her lip, feeling herself redden again as she picked up a drink of cool fruit juice from the table. She swished the dark purple liquid around the goblet, Naberrian nectar, sweet and refreshing. 

“I don’t know,” she muttered before taking a sip. 

Deep down, she knew it was impatience and frustration at the actions of those around her. She was caught up in a war that tore the galaxy in twain, felt as though she were being pulled in multiple directions. She just wanted it over, selfish though that may be.

−

Ben sat in his ready room, staring down at the smooth black desk, his fingers drumming against its surface. He had just dismissed Hux after he had demanded a report of the last couple of days. If Hux had any suspicions of where he had been, he said nothing, though Ben could feel the suspicion and hate roll off him. Hux was like a coiled snake, waiting to strike; he was too useful to dispose of at the present, who else would keep the men in check? Ben rubbed his temples trying to block the voices in his head. Since killing Snoke, they had got louder, more insistent, gripping his mind in a tight voice. They were ever present, like dark twisted fingers trying to gouge into his mind. The only time his mind had any quiet, was when he was with her. 

Thinking of Rey, he exhaled slowly, closing his eyes. He focused on the lines of her face, the warm glow in her eyes, the way her whole face lit up when she smiled. He could feel her warmth, her light transcending, quieting his turbulent mind. He could feel the pull of the bond beginning so he backed away. As much as he ached to see her, he had work to do. Sighing, he opened his eyes as the door opened and Admiral Havers entered. He could feel the fear and nerves emanate from her as she approached his desk, before standing to attention. He had to give it to her, he could only feel her fear through the force, she hid it well. He supposed to get where she had within the ranks of the First Order, she had to have a measure of calm and control. 

“You asked to see me Sir?”

“Yes please, sit,” he gestured to the chair at the side of her. 

She sat stiffly, bolt upright, her gloved hands upon her knees. 

“It’s regarding our latest acquisition of trainee soldiers from the Outer rim, the children.”

“Yes Sir, is there a problem?”

“In the meeting the other day, you voiced some concerns with regarding our method of gaining new recruits.”

She gulped, her saw her hands clench slightly, her knuckles paling. 

“I merely pointed out…” he could see her searching for the right words. 

“At ease Admiral, I completely agree with you.”

By the expression that flickered across her face, it was obvious that they were not the words she had been expecting.

“Are there any other officers that feel the same?” he kept his voice low and neutral.

He could feel the cogs turning in her mind, trying to work out if this was a trap or not. A very slight sheen of perspiration began to collect upon her forehead, her dark skin glistening. He fixed her with his eyes, dark and full of intent, feeling her breath catch.

“You may as well tell me Admiral; you know I can get any information I want from you. I would rather do it this way and save us both the trouble.”

She could hear the threat in his tone and did not doubt him. She had heard the rumours of what he could do, what he had done. 

“So…I’ll ask again, are there any other officers that feel the same?”

She nodded.

“Yes Sir.”

“Good,” he nodded. “Now, their names?”

−−

Leia returned from her private meeting with Sanjukta, sitting heavily into the chair next to Rey. She looked tired, worn and not for the first time since Leia’s injuries did Rey worry about her.

“Well?” Poe asked impatiently, pausing his pacing across the room.

“The Queen has decided that she cannot risk openly supporting the Resistance, she will not risk her planet,” Leia noticed the fallen faces of disappointment around her. “That I understand whole-heartedly.”

“Well this was a wasted trip,” Poe grumbled, sitting down, his head in his hands.

Leia couldn’t help but smile, admiring Poe’s passion and drive. In some ways he reminded her of Han, when they had been younger, that same impetuous impatience. 

“However,” she continued. “She did not say that she wouldn’t help us at all. She is gifting us a number of ships and fuel that we so desperately need, as well as food and medical supplies.”

Poe tapped his foot, thinking, Chewie growled quietly.

“Yes, my friend,” Leia replied with a smile. 

“What about soldiers?” Rey asked. 

“That answer is a little more complicated.”

−−

Ben tossed and turned in his sleep, his body covered with a fine layer of sweat despite the bone chilling cold that seeped through him. Though he slept he found no rest, his mind a turbulent storm of raging fears and emotions. Ever that face whispered to him, the same way it had whispered to him all of his life. 

“Nwῠl tash  
Dzwol shȃsotkun  
Shȃsotjontȗ Chȃtsatul nu tyȗk  
Peace is a lie, there is only passion.  
Through passion I gain strength.  
Through strength I gain power.”

It sounded like legions of voices, ancient and gone spoke to him in whispers, echoing years of hatred and rage. It twisted and turned inside Ben’s mind, taunting him, teasing him, getting louder and louder. As he tried to fight it, a vision of Rey flashed across his mind. 

‘No!’ 

It couldn’t be Rey, she was so cold, so lifeless, looking up at him with blank eyes. He couldn’t feel her heartbeat, her life, her light, it was all gone. He looked desperately around, but there was nobody to help him, he was alone again. 

“It doesn’t have to be this way,” the voice sounded reassuring. “You have the power to change this.”

He felt cold, his heart racing. 

“Grandson, my boy, let us help you…”

Ben awoke with a gasp in the dark, his head pounding. He shook his head as though to rid himself of what he’d seen, but the image of Rey filled his mind. He couldn’t let that happen, wouldn’t let that happen.


End file.
